How to prepare for an exam
Sunday, September 28, 2014 | 8:30 PM | 9 comments
My grades were always pretty good when I was in Primary school, but when I moved on to Secondary school, that was when everything started fluctuating. I hated school, my teachers and studying. I was so distracted with boys and friendship problems just like most teenagers would - That continued for quite awhile...
For some reason, my last relationship was like a wakeup call to my entire life. I'm in year 2, taking my diploma now and all I want is not only to do well in my studies, but do freaking well. I've been working really hard throughout the last 1.5 years and I've never worked any harder my entire life. Simply because I believe to be the best, one should never settle for less. What differentiates a student who scores "B" and another that scores "A" is the extra mile he/she is willing to take.
I've 3 goals in mind:
- To get into a good University.
- To prove to myself and people that I can do what I love (blogging and making videos) but still be able to stay focus in school.
- To prove my haters wrong by being successful.
We make the wrong choices sometimes, but as long as we are willing to face the problem and not run away from it, I believe it's never too late to change for the better. Education may not be everything, but it is important. I could easily give up studying now and rely on blogging and making videos to earn for a living, but to me, these are ephemeral and secondary. Besides, I enjoy the process of learning new things in school. I may not end up doing what I choose to major in now, but it's always good to acquire more knowledge, right?
So after all that grandmother-long story, here's how I usually prepare for an exam.
1) Stop Procrastinating
This is perhaps the simplest yet most difficult thing to do. When studying, suddenly clicking your pen seems way more interesting than reading through your notes. However, procrastination has to go.
Before you know it, your exams are tomorrow, you haven't started on anything, you start panicking, you stay up late, walk into the exam hall with eye bags nearly sagging to the ground, and you'd wish you did your revision way earlier.
Personally, I'd rather be "kiasu" and start a month in advance than to get in a fluster a week before my papers. Get it over and done with. When you start earlier and if you have things you're uncertain about, you'd still have time to clear your doubts and correct your mistakes.
2) Avoid all distractions
If it takes ditching a whole episode of my fav drama, or to sacrifice a gathering with my friends, I would still do so. Missing out on your social life may be tough as hell, but it's indeed about learning to prioritise.
Chuck your phone aside, stay away from the computer, and in fact, you shouldn't be reading my blog right now if you haven't started studying haha.
Remember what you need to get done, all else shouldn't matter as long as they hinder you from reaching your goal.
3) Time Management
You know yourself best, if you can't retain everything you've learnt in a day, take a week. Spread it out. It's better to study one chapter a day than to force yourself to remember 10 chapters on the last day.
If you're a little more conscientious and if this helps, write a schedule so that you can keep track of your plans of that day and stick as close to it as possible. You don't wanna be over ambitious though, don't aim to finish everything within that day itself. Breaks are necessary to sorta refresh your mind every now and then.
4) Revision
Practice makes perfect. That's why I advised previously in point (1) to start studying earlier, because you'd need time to run through everything again so that you could get the hang of it, and be familiarised with your materials.
This helps to prevent yourself from forgetting what you've previously touched on as well, pretty much like a quick recap to stimulate your memory.
You'd like to start testing yourself or get someone else to do it, so that you'd have an idea of what are the things you should work on and what you're already good at.
5) Sleep
I know a million people may have already reiterated the importance of sleep to you, but I'm also aware that most people wouldn't give a shit about it. I make sure that I have at least 8 hours of sleep everyday, and even if my work isn't completed, I'd still go to bed. Firstly, I know that any lesser amount of sleep, I'd lose focus the following day and I'd have the tendency of taking a nap which would waste unnecessary time. Secondly, our brain can only take up so much information, you don't wanna over exhaust it cos you might just end up forgetting everything you've learnt.
Having adequate amount of sleep and sleeping at the right timing is extremely vital. Many people love staying up late to revise right before the examination day, but that could really affect your focus level.
It's good to review all your notes right before bedtime so that it helps consolidate all the information in your memory, but it shouldn't take up the entire night.
-
Of course, all these may not work for every single one of you cos "studying-methods" vary from person to person, but these are just some generic ways I've been using to overcome my exams.
I feel that I don't belong to the extremely intellectual category where I could ace everything without studying, hence I take such precautions, but if you're a born genius then... Why are you even reading this in the first place? *Rolls eyes*
I know this post may sound pretty lame, but I genuinely wish it could help, even if it's only reassurance I give.
Good luck with your exams sweethearts.
To lighten up your mood a little, you can watch Jianhao's new video below! (Please don't learn from him hahaha though.)
Labels: Students, Teenagers, Tips N Guides, Views
Ask Naomi #1 How To Know If You Are In Love
Thursday, August 28, 2014 | 9:23 PM | 2 comments
If you don't already know, I've set up a new email where you guys could send me your problems and questions to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM. Basically I will select one or more questions to reply anonymously on Thursdays.
Disclaimer - Not trying to say that I know it all or that I guarantee to give the best advices, but these opinions are just based on my personal experiences. And I sincerely hope I could help most of you by doing this.
Hence, please do not be offended if I were to say something that you don't feel the same towards. Everything I say here comes with no ill intentions. (I mean c'mon, I don't even know majority of these people who emailed me, personally.)
Without further ado, here's one question I chose to answer today.
Thank you so much for the support. It really melts my heart to know that there's actually someone out there who believes in me and supports me in the things I do.
Here's what I have to say with regard to your situation,
Firstly, I guess it was a good thing that the both of you weren't romantically involved in each other's lives, knowing that he was attached back then, cos it would've made things a lot messier.
Moving on, "I have this event and since his crew. was involved I texted him asking if he would be present. Instead of giving me an answer, he told me he just broke up with his girlfriend." From his rather "irrelevant" reply, I feel that he was definitely trying to hit on you. (Please note that this doesn't mean that he's serious about you.) I mean unless you guys have been conversing on a regular basis, that shouldn't be an "opening message" to someone. Informing you about his break up was a clear sign that he wanted you to know that he's single.
"Then we texted for a few days. Flirtatiously. I know this sounds...... 'cheap', he invited me to his home." Well, I wouldn't say you're cheap. After all, being young and inexperienced (as described from the earlier part of your email) it's inevitable to wanna explore and try things you haven't before. I guess by reciprocating to his request, it does seem that you show some interest in this guy as well.
"We only made out...... I don't know why but I felt really affected by this, I constantly this about him." Thinking of someone most of the time could just mean that they gave you something memorable to ponder on. Girls being girls, it's even more normal to be perpetually thinking, especially about a guy who made an impression in our lives. In your case, by giving you your first kiss.
"He hardly replies my text, this happens even before we made out..... He never starts the conversation and such." These two reasons alone are sufficient to prove that this guy is probably not that into you. With affection comes effort, if he doesn't feel the need to text you first (not even once).... Then as crude as this may sound, he doesn't need you in his life either.
All in all, it's human nature to feel attracted to the people we can't get or show us the least attention in most instances. The little sparks and butterflies in your tummy would sometimes get the better of you, leading you to think that you're in love when you're actually not. In other words, how you feel towards him now could possibly just be a moment of infatuation. Sometimes, we get carried away and our emotions get swayed by simple, yet temporary things. It's just like how we have crushes, but they may not necessarily be permanent. Today you're mesmerised by his charm, tomorrow you might fall head over heels for someone who's even better.
Often times, we conclude things way too fast before we could even settle down, compose ourselves and figure out how we really feel deep down.
I can't decide on your behalf whether or not you're "in love" with this guy, but I know such fuzzy feelings are hard to ignore. It's like an irresistible temptation that keeps you wanting more. My advice to you is that you should just cut him off entirely (don't even bother being friends, cause trust me, it's gonna confuse you further) Don't even bother wasting your time. Leave, and if he comes back you know he's true. However, don't ever wait in hope that he will come back for you. After all, as the old saying goes, expectations lead to disappointments.
The problem with most people is that they "give it a try" too many times before they finally realise it's not working out and by then; with more memories, attachment and feelings, it's gonna be a lot harder to leave. So leave while you could.
Since it's your first time, just take it easy! It's fine to "not have an ex" If your friends judge you for that, be like...
And don't ever find a guy who uses you as a substitute for his loss, if he could go right to you after his break up, you can't assure he won't do the same to you!
Anyway, all these are just how I feel and what I would do if I were you. You'd have to make the final call whether to stay on or not. After all, I don't know who he is and how he is like and I may be wrong.
Whatever it is,
But yeap! I hope you'd get to see this and I'd be glad if it helps. :)
Best of luck!
Send in your questions today to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM.
Labels: Advices, Asknaomi, BGR, Relationships, Teenagers, Views
It's okay to be alone in school.
Sunday, July 27, 2014 | 9:15 PM | 13 comments
I ain't certain how majority of the people who don't know me actually view me, but I'm pretty sure many have this misconception that I lead a glamorous, problem-free life filled with friends from being who I am. The truth is? I'm alone most of the time, and I'm here today to tell you that it's okay to be alone.
It may probably come as a surprise to some of you, but in contrary to what most people perceive, I don't really have many friends in school.
I usually get hated before I'm even known. Why do I say so? If a normal person decides not to take the initiative to socialise around and speak to people, everyone will probably think it's fine, and they are just shy. However, when I don't? I'm deemed to be stuck up and hostile. Condemned immediately, just bcos of my "social status."
Then again, hardly anyone approaches me bcos they are either the ones who condemned me, or they feel that they are "not good enough" to. Hence, as much as possible, I'd always avoid talking about my social-life to prevent unwanted attention.
I used to get really affected over the fact that I don't have many friends to call my own, so much that I hated being who I am cos no one's able to treat me normally even though that's all that I ask for. Just so you know, I used to suffer from social anxiety during senior year in Secondary school; in other words, I was afraid to have any social interaction with anyone, concerned about being judged or evaluated by others. It is typically characterised by an intense fear of what others are thinking about me (specifically fear of embarrassment, criticism, or rejection), which results in the individual feeling insecure, not good enough for other people, and/or the assumption that peers will automatically reject them - as quoted from Wiki.
Until today, I still have that fear once in awhile, but I'm slowly "recuperating," and still learning how to step out of my comfort zone to interact with people.
I had a best friend who was in the same class as me for the first two years of Secondary school, who later on distant from me when we were parted during "streaming" year. I felt pretty lonely most of the time during year 3 and 4. Reason being, my best friend was in another class, and most of the people in class already formed their own cliques or had a familiar partner.
Of course, I had friends, in and out of class, but it never felt right. It was really tough to establish a good rapport with anyone.
I remember once when I was in Sec 3, while P.E lesson was conducted, we were all instructed to get into pairs, and as everyone hastily approached their partners, I glanced swiftly across the class to look for my only friend, who was also my sitting-partner in class, whom I thought would've teamed up with me, but she didn't.
I was puzzled at that moment, but more importantly, I realised I was alone. I felt my heart throb so loud as if it was in my ear, tears welled up in my eyes, but I tried to keep it cool. That feeling was unforgettable.
Another time during a school excursion - Normally, everyone including myself would feel excited; to me, being able to sit with my friends in the bus was one of the best things about having to go on a field trip, but it wasn't until I was left alone again.
I went to refill my water-bottle when everyone boarded the bus, and I was hoping my partner would've left a seat for me. To my dismay, all I saw when I went up the bus were wide smiles and faces that told me I was forgotten. Seat right next to my friend? Taken up. The only vacant seats left were the ones right in front. Even my teachers in-charge joined in the fun behind.
I shut my eyes in anguish, as tears rolled down my cheeks.
I hated being in school.
In Sec 4, I finally had a few girl friends who included me in their group, and they were the best people I've ever met. Not only did I feel like I existed, but I was glad to have finally found a reason to look forward to school. However, I wouldn't deny I still felt like an extra at times bcos they already have their own "inside jokes." After all, they had a bond built over years and the last thing I wanted was to be sympathised.
Well, that was pretty much it, I'd head straight home most of the time when class ends, and just dwell on how shitty my life was at that time.
I'm sure many would be able to comprehend and relate to me when I say it's not really difficult to find friends, but true friends are hard to come by. It's not easy to find friends who wouldn't judge and will never make you feel alone when you're with them.
You know how it feels to walk with a bunch of people, but no one ever notices you're straying behind? Or try speaking, in futile attempt to join in a conversation, but half the time everyone just ignores the things you say and make you feel really left out? Scroll through your contact list and realised you've no one to call when you're in need of help? I've been through these phases, and used to cry under my sheets at night when they happen, but I've gotten over it.
It still happens even today, but so what? Some people may stay in your life, but you won't even see most of them after you graduate. If you still stay in touch with your friends from Kindergarten or Primary school, good for you, but I believe majority hardly even remember any of their childhood friends' names.
I go to school now with the mindset that my studies are my priority, and whether I make friends or not, it doesn't really matter. If I do, it's a bonus. If I don't, life goes on.
Time spent wishing you were happier, can actually be used to do things that will make your life better.
Yes, part of attending school is to make friends and it sure as hell sucks when you're being ostracised and have no one to turn to... But at the end of the day, as you grow older, you'd realise there are actually a lot more things more important than the people who don't give a shit about you. I'm not saying that making friends isn't essential, cos it is pretty important as it determines how your life in school would be, but unless you're a bitch and have serious issues, like if there's a legit reason why people hate you, I don't see how anyone would have difficulties making friends. And even if you don't now, you would someday. I promise.
Each year, it occurs to me that I lose more and more friends, but the ones left are the ones who are really worth keeping.
All I can say is that it's just something we all have to go through in life, and as much as you wanna avoid it, you can't. It's really okay to be alone, at least you don't have to worry about losing people and fear getting hurt, right? Hahaha. That's how I see it. It still bothers me every now and then that I don't have many friends like how some kids in school do, cos they seem really happy, but keyword? SEEM. Having many friends doesn't decide the fate of your life. What's the point of having so many friends, if you can't even find one true friend? I've seen many people who are this way.
Until today, I still have that fear once in awhile, but I'm slowly "recuperating," and still learning how to step out of my comfort zone to interact with people.
I had a best friend who was in the same class as me for the first two years of Secondary school, who later on distant from me when we were parted during "streaming" year. I felt pretty lonely most of the time during year 3 and 4. Reason being, my best friend was in another class, and most of the people in class already formed their own cliques or had a familiar partner.
Of course, I had friends, in and out of class, but it never felt right. It was really tough to establish a good rapport with anyone.
I remember once when I was in Sec 3, while P.E lesson was conducted, we were all instructed to get into pairs, and as everyone hastily approached their partners, I glanced swiftly across the class to look for my only friend, who was also my sitting-partner in class, whom I thought would've teamed up with me, but she didn't.
I was puzzled at that moment, but more importantly, I realised I was alone. I felt my heart throb so loud as if it was in my ear, tears welled up in my eyes, but I tried to keep it cool. That feeling was unforgettable.
Another time during a school excursion - Normally, everyone including myself would feel excited; to me, being able to sit with my friends in the bus was one of the best things about having to go on a field trip, but it wasn't until I was left alone again.
I went to refill my water-bottle when everyone boarded the bus, and I was hoping my partner would've left a seat for me. To my dismay, all I saw when I went up the bus were wide smiles and faces that told me I was forgotten. Seat right next to my friend? Taken up. The only vacant seats left were the ones right in front. Even my teachers in-charge joined in the fun behind.
I shut my eyes in anguish, as tears rolled down my cheeks.
I hated being in school.
In Sec 4, I finally had a few girl friends who included me in their group, and they were the best people I've ever met. Not only did I feel like I existed, but I was glad to have finally found a reason to look forward to school. However, I wouldn't deny I still felt like an extra at times bcos they already have their own "inside jokes." After all, they had a bond built over years and the last thing I wanted was to be sympathised.
Well, that was pretty much it, I'd head straight home most of the time when class ends, and just dwell on how shitty my life was at that time.
I'm sure many would be able to comprehend and relate to me when I say it's not really difficult to find friends, but true friends are hard to come by. It's not easy to find friends who wouldn't judge and will never make you feel alone when you're with them.
You know how it feels to walk with a bunch of people, but no one ever notices you're straying behind? Or try speaking, in futile attempt to join in a conversation, but half the time everyone just ignores the things you say and make you feel really left out? Scroll through your contact list and realised you've no one to call when you're in need of help? I've been through these phases, and used to cry under my sheets at night when they happen, but I've gotten over it.
It still happens even today, but so what? Some people may stay in your life, but you won't even see most of them after you graduate. If you still stay in touch with your friends from Kindergarten or Primary school, good for you, but I believe majority hardly even remember any of their childhood friends' names.
I go to school now with the mindset that my studies are my priority, and whether I make friends or not, it doesn't really matter. If I do, it's a bonus. If I don't, life goes on.
Time spent wishing you were happier, can actually be used to do things that will make your life better.
Yes, part of attending school is to make friends and it sure as hell sucks when you're being ostracised and have no one to turn to... But at the end of the day, as you grow older, you'd realise there are actually a lot more things more important than the people who don't give a shit about you. I'm not saying that making friends isn't essential, cos it is pretty important as it determines how your life in school would be, but unless you're a bitch and have serious issues, like if there's a legit reason why people hate you, I don't see how anyone would have difficulties making friends. And even if you don't now, you would someday. I promise.
Each year, it occurs to me that I lose more and more friends, but the ones left are the ones who are really worth keeping.
All I can say is that it's just something we all have to go through in life, and as much as you wanna avoid it, you can't. It's really okay to be alone, at least you don't have to worry about losing people and fear getting hurt, right? Hahaha. That's how I see it. It still bothers me every now and then that I don't have many friends like how some kids in school do, cos they seem really happy, but keyword? SEEM. Having many friends doesn't decide the fate of your life. What's the point of having so many friends, if you can't even find one true friend? I've seen many people who are this way.
It's also okay to be alone, cos being alone makes you think, makes you wonder, makes you learn and makes you appreciate.
Anyway, since this is post is something school-related, hope this video @thejianhaotan has just uploaded, would ease up your Sunday night!
Are friends my priorities?
Tuesday, May 6, 2014 | 7:30 PM | 7 comments
I do enjoy being alone, but the feeling of loneliness kills.
Since young, it's never been an issue making new friends to me... However, I'm usually the kind who'd rather have one best friend, than to have five good friends. Hence, whenever I lose my best friend, I feel like I've no one else to rely on.
I prefer to stick to my usuals, and hardly step out of my comfort zone, because I find it really tough to trust new people, and also because I hate feeling awkward. Used to be quite an introvert, and I'll come up with all kinds of excuses just to reject an opportunity to meet a new friend or bunch of new friends.
Having thoughts like, "What if I can't fit in?" "What if no one likes me?" "Will people judge me?" tend to hold me back from hanging out with new people.
It got worse when I started becoming more known on social media.
I met a lot of insincere people; those who pretended they were fine with me when they were not, those who came to me just for favours. And I also had many friends who entered my life and ditched me after they found "better" friends.
I would say that I've gained many experiences that money couldn't buy over the last two years.
I would take a bullet for most of my friends, but half the time, it turns out that they were the ones who pulled the trigger.
I struggled for a really long time; a dilemma between being the one who never stops trying, but gets hurt repeatedly, or the one who doesn't give two f*cks to anything around.
Obviously, the second one sounds like an easier and less painful option, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
The thing about me is that I find it hard to stop caring. If someone's important to me, I'd still care about them even if they don't deserve a millisecond of my time.
And I used to get really upset over those friends who leave me out, or treat me like their backup plans... I mean I'm pretty sure many of you feel the same way at times right?
Until I eventually grew out of that "emo" stage and told myself that it was time I learn to let go.
Many of you have always been emailing, tweeting me or contacting me through various means to enquire about friendship problems. Not that I'm some aunt agony, neither is it because I know the solutions to every friendship problem there is on this planet... Just my two cents worth of opinion I think I could share.
-
So along the way, I did get to know a lot more people, but I've also learnt to take things a lot easier. Life is not always a bed of roses, and you can't expect things to go according to how you want it to be all the time.
Half the time, I wish I could just wake up one day, make a trip to the bank, and realise I turned into a billionaire overnight, and be like...
Just kidding. Stay tuned to my next post! :D
Half the time, I wish I could just wake up one day, make a trip to the bank, and realise I turned into a billionaire overnight, and be like...
Yeah, I know I know, it's just me living in my own material world. Money can't buy true happiness, but it can definitely buy loads of things that would make me happy.
Just like friends, they may not be your only source of happiness, but sometimes, you choose to think that they are. You convince yourself into believing that without them, you can't live. You feel that with no friends, life is meaningless.
Alright, let's make it clear, if you did something to hurt your friend, and he/she dumps you, then you deserve it. :p However, if you've done your part by doing the best you could for someone, going the extra mile and prioritising their happiness before yours, YET they do not reciprocate or appreciate it...
Then perhaps it's time to you receive a slap in the face by reality that you suck. Nah, I'm joking, I hope no one stopped reading from my last sentence lol.
The truth is? LIFE GOES ON!
I've been used, I cried, I've been hurt, but honestly, you should always realise your worth at the end of the day. And your worth isn't determined by anyone, but yourself. Why allow someone to dominate your life? Key word? YOUR LIFE.
I'm not saying friends are not important, cos they are. They are there when you need them, they share your joy but also your tears, they make you feel wanted and they make you feel a sense of belonging.
However, there are more than 7 billion people in this world, although one friend can mean the world to you at times, that doesn't mean that you should lose sight of the remaining people who still cares, especially your family.
Anyway, point is... There are much more important things in life to focus on, so f*ck it if your friend "last seen" you on Whatsapp.
Times have changed.
Monday, December 23, 2013 | 2:43 PM | 1 comments
Times
have changed.
As
much as the title speaks for itself most of the time, this post is probably not
exactly what you expected it to be. It's more of my perspective on what BGR's
like, amongst us teens these days.
I've
always wanted to talk about this, but I've never felt this eager to write it
until today. It's like this burning urge that perpetually prompts me to do so.
Right,
let’s cut to the chase.
.
.
.
Teens
today are more likely forced to face sexualised information at every turn
compared to what it's like 10 years back.
From
TV, media, magazines and peers, sexuality appears to be a
popular topic that contributes to our daily conversations. To an extent where
so many are starting to disregard their values as the issue on sexuality
arises.
It's
hard to keep abreast of what's going on nowadays, because of the complexities of our contemporary society. It's all
about doing the "in-thing" and being up-to-date now. Traditions and
beliefs? How many teens of this century actually bother?
So anyway, what I'd be touching
on today would be things like - The expectations on what majority of us have
versus what's it's really like in reality and the speed in which people are
getting in and out of a relationship.
EXPECTATIONS.
Most
common problem? Setting your expectations too high. Not sure if it applies to
everything, but expecting too much from someone could easily be one of the most
heart-rending problems on earth.
Ever
been in a situation where you stayed up all night, just to wait for his/her
call, but they didn't call? And it's not because they've forgotten to do so,
it's just that you expected them to, but the call never came.
Or
a situation where you spent a crazy amount of time and effort to surprise
someone, but their response wasn't what you expected?
All
these are signs that you're expecting. And as the old saying goes, "The
greater the expectation, the bigger the disappointment."
Sad
to say, that's probably the case more than half the time. As humans, it's
only normal to expect something from someone you've given the
world to. Whether you expect them to reciprocate through words or actions,
you're still pinning your hopes on
them that they'll react the way you want them to.
Girls
- We are rather notorious for having this tendency of contradicting what we
say. Yeah, it's undeniable that the things we say don't usually reflect how we
truly feel.
Guys
- Male chauvinists? I guess it's nothing new that guys don't even wanna express
how they feel at times, especially when pride and ego comes in the way.
However,
there's something we both have in common. Fear.
Through
personal experiences and what I've garnered from my peers, I'm aware that
sometimes the key factor that acts as a hindrance to "speaking your
mind," can simply be due to FEAR.
As
a girl, we are more likely to be vulnerable by nature, it's not surprising to
know that many of you (sometimes even myself) are fearful of rejection. Of
course, it works the same way for some guys.(OK, I can't speak from a guy's pov,
but this is what my guy friends shared with me)
For
instance - You're expecting the other party to make the first move to text you,
but when they don't... You naturally assume it's because they don't bother.
May
be the case, but always give them the benefit of doubt - Who knows? Fear might
be holding them back.
I
mean, I've been lucky (or rather unlucky) to experience both situations before.
And I understand that, it's hard not to feel unimportant.
Similarly,
I could strongly empathise with how it is to be afraid. Afraid of not receiving
a reply, afraid that the reply would be something you might end up being like,
"I wish I didn't send that msg!" or a reply that might make you feel
worse from what you're already feeling before.
Unfortunately,
I feel that the only way to solve this is to stop worrying so much. I live by
this thinking, "I'd rather do something I'm dying to do, and fail, than to
live with a regret of not even trying." Yes, it sucks! It sucks when
you've to face failure despite all the effort you've invested.
However,
you'd get over it eventually. Cos you know you've tried. On the contrary, when
you don't try at all, because of whatever reason that holds you back... You
might have to live with this "What if I actually..." thinking for the
rest of your life.
Fact
is, worrying too much won't help solve a problem. Anyone could make the first
move and the both of you could easily be conversing away. Yet half the time,
people expect and worry too much... Who benefits at the end?
No one.
You'd
just end up making yourself feel miserable for the opportunity you've lost.
Don't
just sit there and wait for happiness to come knocking on your door. After all,
we usually won't cherish the things that come to us easily. If you want it,
earn it, do something about it.
Continue
allowing your fear to hold you back, and you will NEVER be
able to attain what you pine for.
Learn
to stop expecting. It's something I've to learn to. It's really tough, but
you've to realise that every one of us function
differently.
If
you love someone, do things for them unconditionally. Of course, for the right
person. If that person's just being a douchebag, and takes advantage of you...
KICK THEM IN THE FACE. Kidding.
Point
is to express how you truly feel. Honesty is the first most
crucial step in sustaining a healthy relationship. Every little lie
counts.
RELATIONSHIPS.
BGR could easily top the charts for being one of the social ills which is prevalent in this society today.
Before
I start, let me share with you a bit on my relationship background.
I've been in and out of several "flirtationships" ((n) – A social situation that comprises more than a friendship, but less than a relationship), but I'd only consider two of them a legit relationship.
I've been in and out of several "flirtationships" ((n) – A social situation that comprises more than a friendship, but less than a relationship), but I'd only consider two of them a legit relationship.
Not
that I wasn't serious with the rest, but I excluded them only because I felt
like it wasn't "real" for either one of us.
I'm really sensitive and sentimental. I'm probably one of the overly-attached girlfriends when I'm in love, and I take really long to forget someone even when it's over.
Sometimes, you can date so many other people only to realise no one's as good as that special someone.
I'm really sensitive and sentimental. I'm probably one of the overly-attached girlfriends when I'm in love, and I take really long to forget someone even when it's over.
Sometimes, you can date so many other people only to realise no one's as good as that special someone.
And when I mean good, I don't just mean whether they fit your standards or not. They can be a million times better, but it's funny how you still choose to love that one person.
Love isn't blind. You actually see those flaws, but you choose to accept them.
Love isn't about changing someone. I've been the girl who's always hoping to change the guy I'm with, but if I'm trying to change him, doesn't that prove something?
That maybe I don't really like him for who he really is after all.
Sometimes, you think you love someone only to realise that the only thing you enjoyed was that ambiguous relationship you had with the other party.
That phase is the sweetest.
Anyway, I hate the process of getting out of a relationship, I hate crying myself to sleep for nights, I hate becoming more insecure than before, I hate it when I lose my friends just for someone and when he leaves, I'm left alone. I hate the pain of moving on, I hate watching the other party move on, I hate wishing he's still not over me, I hate wishing there's a chance of us getting back together.
I hate the whole process of learning to trust someone new, I hate how guarded I am towards everyone after every breakup. I really hate going through that sh*t.
So after having to go through it so many times, I learnt to never get into relationships hastily.
That being said, it sickens me
how relationships are treated like a game to many people of my age in the
recent years.
I definitely not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to know everything about love, but one thing for sure... No matter how many dates I had previously, I've never ever get into a relationship UNTIL I'm really certain of how I feel towards the other party.
The word "love" is badly abused by so many of us - I never understood how "I REALLY LOVE YOU" can come from a person who only gotta know you for a couple of days.
Of course, there is chance that people might indeed fall in love with each other within the first few times of meeting up, but that's not what I'm talking about.
To have a stable relationship, I personally feel that you've to build a really strong foundation. (Unless you're not looking to settle down.) Remember those days where it's always that same old process - From strangers, to acquaintances, to friends and then to lovers?
Seems like that's no longer the case. Everything escalates so quickly these days. Couple of chats, meet-ups... *BAM* steady, *BAM BAM* broken off.
I definitely not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to know everything about love, but one thing for sure... No matter how many dates I had previously, I've never ever get into a relationship UNTIL I'm really certain of how I feel towards the other party.
The word "love" is badly abused by so many of us - I never understood how "I REALLY LOVE YOU" can come from a person who only gotta know you for a couple of days.
Of course, there is chance that people might indeed fall in love with each other within the first few times of meeting up, but that's not what I'm talking about.
To have a stable relationship, I personally feel that you've to build a really strong foundation. (Unless you're not looking to settle down.) Remember those days where it's always that same old process - From strangers, to acquaintances, to friends and then to lovers?
Seems like that's no longer the case. Everything escalates so quickly these days. Couple of chats, meet-ups... *BAM* steady, *BAM BAM* broken off.
It's crazy!
I always thought relationships were special, but what's it like now?
I always thought relationships were special, but what's it like now?
As much as it's a positive thing
how technology does wonders these days, it's ruining so many traditions too.
Relationships these days are so much harder because of how conversations are made through texting, feelings are expressed through our updates on social platforms...
Relationships these days are so much harder because of how conversations are made through texting, feelings are expressed through our updates on social platforms...
Tell me, how many fights
and misunderstandings today are caused by all these indirect updates online?
Stop writing your feelings down on Twitter, hoping your partner sees it! You've
a phone, you've their number... Text/call them!
-
And due to how exposed all of us are to the Western culture, we tend to forget our values. I really hate how conservative we can be at times, but there's only so much you can do. As much as you'd love to walk out of the house without a bra, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you'd like to share about your sex-life with your parents, hoping they'd be open about you, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you yearn to make out in public, YOU CAN'T.
I've noticed how influenced my peers are towards all the Western values, talking about sex and whatsoever openly on Twitter... I'm definitely not trying to say that it's a bad thing. In fact, it's rather unpreventable in this society we are in today.
However, I'm just so upset to see how majority of the relationships now could only last for weeks.
You see them whining about how much they love and want someone for a week... Next thing you know? They are with someone new.
It's sad to see how people can get into a relationship, claim to love the other party, and still cheat. Stop being selfish and greedy. You can't have the best of both worlds, call it off if you can't stay faithful.
-
And due to how exposed all of us are to the Western culture, we tend to forget our values. I really hate how conservative we can be at times, but there's only so much you can do. As much as you'd love to walk out of the house without a bra, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you'd like to share about your sex-life with your parents, hoping they'd be open about you, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you yearn to make out in public, YOU CAN'T.
I've noticed how influenced my peers are towards all the Western values, talking about sex and whatsoever openly on Twitter... I'm definitely not trying to say that it's a bad thing. In fact, it's rather unpreventable in this society we are in today.
However, I'm just so upset to see how majority of the relationships now could only last for weeks.
You see them whining about how much they love and want someone for a week... Next thing you know? They are with someone new.
It's sad to see how people can get into a relationship, claim to love the other party, and still cheat. Stop being selfish and greedy. You can't have the best of both worlds, call it off if you can't stay faithful.
Works
the same way for girls.
-
What I've to say to the girls,
-
What I've to say to the girls,
For
the guys,
Last
but not least,
Which boils down to the last thing I wish to address - Respect.
Girls, respect his privacy. Yeah, if he has nothing to hide from his phone he shouldn't be afraid, but that doesn't give you the rights to check it without his permission.
Guys, respect her body. If she feels like she's not rear, don't force her. As contradicting as we can be at time, when we say "NO," to these kinda things…. We mean business.
Don't offer your body to the guy you love, if he only offers his love to have your body.
.
.
.
Anyway, since we're on this topic… I thought some of you may be interested in something I've found out about recently.
Clicknetwork.tv is casting for their brand new reality show!
This is definitely a rare opportunity for those of you who have always wanted to be a part of a web reality series :)
And hear this; you will also stand to win $8,000 cash!
To those of who are mugging for exams, or the people who are preparing for school… this is a good reason to take a short break from all the studying! The show promises to be fun and educational. Best part of it? You will also meet new friends!
Registration closes on the 10 of January 2014, so do sign up now if you are interested! @ http://bit.ly/1hXZA7P.
You can also register directly by emailing your name, age and mobile number to casting@clicknetwork.tv.
Good luck! & I hope you guys learned something from today's entry! :)
Labels: BGR, Campaigns/Engagements, Event Coverage, Rants, Relationships, Teenagers, Views
Value Of Physical Appearance
Saturday, December 14, 2013 | 5:00 PM | 0 comments
As I grew older, one awful thing that I'm forced to realize is how tough it is to stay happy genuinely happy in this society today. Why do I say so? Well, when I was a child everything was really simple and carefree, there wasn't much for me to worry about...... Perhaps just not being able to buy my fav toy.
Now? It feels like I've to constantly search high and low for things that are able to sustain that smile on my face. It's no longer as easy as being able to catch my fav cartoon or receiving a new Barbie-set.
What do I mean by genuine happiness? I'm not just referring to that few seconds of joy when I get my cravings satisfied, or when I laugh so hard listening to a good joke, that my tummy hurts and I start to tear up a little just for a moment of two. That's just temporary. Those kind of happiness don't last.
I guess like they all say, it's just part and parcel of growing up.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So anyway, there's something that has been affecting me for quite awhile now, and I've never been able to find the right words nor have I had that sudden outburst of anger to address this issue.
Aiya basically, I was just waiting for my patience to reach its limit before I feel the need to write this!
If I'm not wrong, I actually spoke about this on Twitter a couple of times before, but apparently 140 characters just aren't enough to get this anger I've been bottling up, off my chest.
S U P E R F I C I A L I T Y.
Yes, it's somewhat true that looks can actually get you through many doors... And it's something we're all aware of, but I think that the number of people in this society who are placing an exorbitant amount of value on physical appearance these days, are escalating.
I don't just mean on others alone, even with ourselves. People are just obsessed with what's on the surface.
There's something I will never be able to comprehend. Personally, I feel that judging someone based on their looks has definitely got to be one of the last things that one should do.
Lol, but at the end of the day we all know that it's disingenuous if I were to say that I'm not one of those who pass my first judgment of someone just by looking at their hair, eyes, nose, mouth, height so on and so forth. It's undeniable that I'm equally judgemental.
In fact, we all are.
C'mon, if you disagree with what I've said so far... Tell me who would you approach if you were forced to choose one?
Ladies?
OR 
?
Guys?
OR 
?
We all know what majority would pick. If you say you'd pick the second for either sexes, then you're either a sanctimonious hypocrite or just one of a kind...
C'mon, don't be ridiculous.
Sounds like a rather infelicitous example and I'll probably receive backlash from a bunch of people telling me how insolent I am, but what I'm trying to prove is - Appearance is, indeed what captivates one's attention first.
Everything besides that; personality etc, are secondary.
It's like how most people would pick up a book in a bookstore based on its cover first, isn't it?
I could go on and cite even more examples to prove my point, but I guess that isn't necessary, cos deep down our hearts, we all know that's just another awful truth we have to face.
It seems almost trivial to judge someone at first glance when you look at it with a shallow mindset.
Our concept/standards of beauty is always subjective, but it isn't new that the definition of physical beauty has always been an issue since ancient days - Where people of different cultures have their own definition of beauty. Long necks, small feet, hourglass-figure, pale and delicate skin.
During the Victorian Era, the use of corsets was practised by many women to make them look more attractive and curvaceous. It was a torturous contraption that often caused women to faint and deform their bodies, because of how suffocating it is.
Egyptians define beauty in a different way too; "Early Egyptians were extremely vain and had certain beliefs that contributed to their daily beauty regimens.... So we can see that despite its great age, ancient Egyptian culture contained the seeds of much of what followed, be it cosmetics, perfumes, or clothing. It is rightly looked upon as an opulent historical period, and contributed much to our modern concept of beauty." (Source from http://www.thebeautybiz.com/67/article/history/beauty-through-ages-egypt)
Here are some other examples I've garnered:
"Women in Edwardian England would gladly swallow a slimy tapeworm to keep themselves slim and trim. The parasite would digest most of the food the women ate, and it also destroyed their health."
"Face painting with white lead powder was also popular in Elizabeth’s time. The beauty secret caused the premature demise of a number of 16th century lovelies."
The list goes on...
Of course, with today's technology along with improved medicines, one does not have to go through that crazy amount of pain as compared to the past.
Anyway, what scares me is the pressure placed by our contemporary society on the younger generation now, and it's blatant that the degree of concern towards physical appearance has increased over the years.
What's worse? Even girls and boys as young as 9 are concerned about their physical appearance these days. Since when was going to school all about who looks and dresses better, instead of whose grades are better?
So many people are discriminated against, based on their physical attractiveness. How taller, well-built, good-looking workers have more job opportunities and higher income, whereas shorter, fatter, less appealing workers have lesser opportunities and lower pay.
It's maddening. A person's level of attractiveness should never be directly related to their capabilities and job performance. I'm not trying to say there's a need for such comparison, or competition academically... But why are people disregarding their work, and prioritising physical appearance instead?
Look at Marilyn Monroe. Just so you know, she's someone I've utmost respect for, and she's one of my role models.
I was really intrigued by her past, hence, I've read up and watched many documentaries of her past. It saddens me how she was never valued for her intelligence and other virtues, besides her body and appearance.
Men and women, both wanted her. Men wished to possess her body, women yearned to have her body.
Hardly any men truly appreciated her for her personality and who she really is inside.
-
Our standards of beauty have been sculptured by the media and pop culture. TV, Magazines, Commercials are all about "good-looking" and what's deemed as "perfect" people; to an outrageous extent where it's "abnormal" to use people who are less good-looking on advertisements.
Many of you probably think that way because your definition of being "perfect" is the sterotypical image to be tall and curvy, have big eyes, nice wavy hair blablablabla - Which are some common characteristics many Caucasians are blessed with.
So yeah, to all of you girls or even guys who always go like, "All Caucasians are the epitome of true beauty! I wish I wasn't Asian."
But that doesn't necessarily mean that Asians don't look good just cos we don't possess these features, right?
Which brings me to the next point.
Then again, why do people look at things in such stereotype manner that "everything that's beautiful/perfect, is good."
Nobody's perfect. Cliche, but it's true.
I guess fairytales are partially to be blamed, from the moment it made us believe how the evil stepmother has always got to be ugly, and the kind n' good princesses have to be beautiful.
Perhaps if you see if from another pov, the message they were trying to convey was that if you're good on the inside, you'd be beautiful on the outside too. Ok, to think of it again... Maybe not.
That's a rather weak attempt to justify my previous statement, cos the kind-hearted princesses are all already good looking to begin with. Lol.
And because of all these, even girls and boys as young as 9 are concerned about their physical appearance these days.
Since when was going to school all about who looks and dresses better, instead of whose grades are better?
I'm not trying to say there's a need for such comparison, or competition academically... But why are people disregarding their work, and prioritising physical appearance instead?
-
Coming back to my point on how much physical appearance is valued; I'm not speaking about vanity here, (refers to excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements. In other words, self conceited.)
I'm talking about being insecure, feeling like you're not good enough, thinking that you've to be good looking for people to want and like you.
It's when you've low self esteem where you start to let the adverse thoughts of others adjust your actions; wearing cosmetics often indicates that you're no "real" self esteem.
Duh, I'm speaking from my own experience. I'd spend on beauty products and clothes too, because it makes me feel good.
However, if wearing make-up helps boost your confidence, consider why it does. Is it because you have been brainwashed into conforming to a subjective and mercurial standard of beauty? If so, why inflict yourself with such distress?
Everything above applies equally to the male population too. Costly apparel, spending hours in front of the mirror to achieve that perfect hairstyle — and I have met so many men who put far too much value into being able to achieve a more well-built body compared to another guy.
Fact is, you can never keep up to the "standards of beauty," simply because everyone has their own perception of what beauty is to them.
You don't have to look like David Beckham or Ian Somerhalder, Miranda Kerr or Megan Fox.
There will always be someone better looking out there, and c'mon! You can't be young and beautiful forever. Looks don't last.
Why not focus on finding the right people who would learn to appreciate you for your personality, than to waste your time and effort changing yourself to please people of facile intellect.
Personally, I've nothing against people who go under the knife or spend tons of money on things to beautify themselves IF they are doing it for themselves, and not because they feel the need to do that just to make people like them. It's completely normal.
-
Superficial fabrication of one's appearance propagates deception. You can do a million things to make yourself look better, but a good personality is what lasts at the end of the day.
Time will tell, even if the people around you can't now. That's what I always remind myself; that I don't have to beat anyone in terms of my looks... Cos it's just gonna be an endless competition. I'd rather beat them with my capabilities.
I know I'm not that influential to stop an universal issue as such, but if we could all stop encouraging and hyping on such superficiality. Physical appearance should not be considered when developing an opinion of someone, or yourself, start learning to understand and see beyond what's skin-deep, perhaps we'd be able to discover the inner-beauty of others instead.
Spend lesser time on Tumblr admiring and absorbing unhealthy information, sharing the wrong idea that outer-beauty is everything, it'd definitely reduce the number of teens who suffer from eating disorders, drug addictions, and depression - Which therefore concludes the purpose of this post.
Everything besides that; personality etc, are secondary.
It's like how most people would pick up a book in a bookstore based on its cover first, isn't it?
I could go on and cite even more examples to prove my point, but I guess that isn't necessary, cos deep down our hearts, we all know that's just another awful truth we have to face.
It seems almost trivial to judge someone at first glance when you look at it with a shallow mindset.
Our concept/standards of beauty is always subjective, but it isn't new that the definition of physical beauty has always been an issue since ancient days - Where people of different cultures have their own definition of beauty. Long necks, small feet, hourglass-figure, pale and delicate skin.
During the Victorian Era, the use of corsets was practised by many women to make them look more attractive and curvaceous. It was a torturous contraption that often caused women to faint and deform their bodies, because of how suffocating it is.
Egyptians define beauty in a different way too; "Early Egyptians were extremely vain and had certain beliefs that contributed to their daily beauty regimens.... So we can see that despite its great age, ancient Egyptian culture contained the seeds of much of what followed, be it cosmetics, perfumes, or clothing. It is rightly looked upon as an opulent historical period, and contributed much to our modern concept of beauty." (Source from http://www.thebeautybiz.com/67/article/history/beauty-through-ages-egypt)
Here are some other examples I've garnered:
"Women in Edwardian England would gladly swallow a slimy tapeworm to keep themselves slim and trim. The parasite would digest most of the food the women ate, and it also destroyed their health."
"Face painting with white lead powder was also popular in Elizabeth’s time. The beauty secret caused the premature demise of a number of 16th century lovelies."
The list goes on...
Of course, with today's technology along with improved medicines, one does not have to go through that crazy amount of pain as compared to the past.
Anyway, what scares me is the pressure placed by our contemporary society on the younger generation now, and it's blatant that the degree of concern towards physical appearance has increased over the years.
What's worse? Even girls and boys as young as 9 are concerned about their physical appearance these days. Since when was going to school all about who looks and dresses better, instead of whose grades are better?
So many people are discriminated against, based on their physical attractiveness. How taller, well-built, good-looking workers have more job opportunities and higher income, whereas shorter, fatter, less appealing workers have lesser opportunities and lower pay.
It's maddening. A person's level of attractiveness should never be directly related to their capabilities and job performance. I'm not trying to say there's a need for such comparison, or competition academically... But why are people disregarding their work, and prioritising physical appearance instead?
Look at Marilyn Monroe. Just so you know, she's someone I've utmost respect for, and she's one of my role models.
I was really intrigued by her past, hence, I've read up and watched many documentaries of her past. It saddens me how she was never valued for her intelligence and other virtues, besides her body and appearance.
Men and women, both wanted her. Men wished to possess her body, women yearned to have her body.
Hardly any men truly appreciated her for her personality and who she really is inside.
-
Our standards of beauty have been sculptured by the media and pop culture. TV, Magazines, Commercials are all about "good-looking" and what's deemed as "perfect" people; to an outrageous extent where it's "abnormal" to use people who are less good-looking on advertisements.
Many of you probably think that way because your definition of being "perfect" is the sterotypical image to be tall and curvy, have big eyes, nice wavy hair blablablabla - Which are some common characteristics many Caucasians are blessed with.
So yeah, to all of you girls or even guys who always go like, "All Caucasians are the epitome of true beauty! I wish I wasn't Asian."
But that doesn't necessarily mean that Asians don't look good just cos we don't possess these features, right?
Which brings me to the next point.
Then again, why do people look at things in such stereotype manner that "everything that's beautiful/perfect, is good."
Nobody's perfect. Cliche, but it's true.
I guess fairytales are partially to be blamed, from the moment it made us believe how the evil stepmother has always got to be ugly, and the kind n' good princesses have to be beautiful.
Perhaps if you see if from another pov, the message they were trying to convey was that if you're good on the inside, you'd be beautiful on the outside too. Ok, to think of it again... Maybe not.
That's a rather weak attempt to justify my previous statement, cos the kind-hearted princesses are all already good looking to begin with. Lol.
And because of all these, even girls and boys as young as 9 are concerned about their physical appearance these days.
Since when was going to school all about who looks and dresses better, instead of whose grades are better?
I'm not trying to say there's a need for such comparison, or competition academically... But why are people disregarding their work, and prioritising physical appearance instead?
-
Coming back to my point on how much physical appearance is valued; I'm not speaking about vanity here, (refers to excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements. In other words, self conceited.)
I'm talking about being insecure, feeling like you're not good enough, thinking that you've to be good looking for people to want and like you.
It's when you've low self esteem where you start to let the adverse thoughts of others adjust your actions; wearing cosmetics often indicates that you're no "real" self esteem.
Duh, I'm speaking from my own experience. I'd spend on beauty products and clothes too, because it makes me feel good.
However, if wearing make-up helps boost your confidence, consider why it does. Is it because you have been brainwashed into conforming to a subjective and mercurial standard of beauty? If so, why inflict yourself with such distress?
Everything above applies equally to the male population too. Costly apparel, spending hours in front of the mirror to achieve that perfect hairstyle — and I have met so many men who put far too much value into being able to achieve a more well-built body compared to another guy.
Fact is, you can never keep up to the "standards of beauty," simply because everyone has their own perception of what beauty is to them.
You don't have to look like David Beckham or Ian Somerhalder, Miranda Kerr or Megan Fox.
There will always be someone better looking out there, and c'mon! You can't be young and beautiful forever. Looks don't last.
Why not focus on finding the right people who would learn to appreciate you for your personality, than to waste your time and effort changing yourself to please people of facile intellect.
Personally, I've nothing against people who go under the knife or spend tons of money on things to beautify themselves IF they are doing it for themselves, and not because they feel the need to do that just to make people like them. It's completely normal.
-
Superficial fabrication of one's appearance propagates deception. You can do a million things to make yourself look better, but a good personality is what lasts at the end of the day.
Time will tell, even if the people around you can't now. That's what I always remind myself; that I don't have to beat anyone in terms of my looks... Cos it's just gonna be an endless competition. I'd rather beat them with my capabilities.
I know I'm not that influential to stop an universal issue as such, but if we could all stop encouraging and hyping on such superficiality. Physical appearance should not be considered when developing an opinion of someone, or yourself, start learning to understand and see beyond what's skin-deep, perhaps we'd be able to discover the inner-beauty of others instead.
Spend lesser time on Tumblr admiring and absorbing unhealthy information, sharing the wrong idea that outer-beauty is everything, it'd definitely reduce the number of teens who suffer from eating disorders, drug addictions, and depression - Which therefore concludes the purpose of this post.
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." - Marilyn Monroe.
Labels: Physical Appearance, Rants, Social Media, Society, Teenagers, Views
