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Ask Naomi #1 How To Know If You Are In Love
If you don't already know, I've set up a new email where you guys could send me your problems and questions to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM. Basically I will select one or more questions to reply anonymously on Thursdays.
Disclaimer - Not trying to say that I know it all or that I guarantee to give the best advices, but these opinions are just based on my personal experiences. And I sincerely hope I could help most of you by doing this.
Hence, please do not be offended if I were to say something that you don't feel the same towards. Everything I say here comes with no ill intentions. (I mean c'mon, I don't even know majority of these people who emailed me, personally.)
Without further ado, here's one question I chose to answer today.
Thank you so much for the support. It really melts my heart to know that there's actually someone out there who believes in me and supports me in the things I do.
Here's what I have to say with regard to your situation,
Firstly, I guess it was a good thing that the both of you weren't romantically involved in each other's lives, knowing that he was attached back then, cos it would've made things a lot messier.
Moving on, "I have this event and since his crew. was involved I texted him asking if he would be present. Instead of giving me an answer, he told me he just broke up with his girlfriend." From his rather "irrelevant" reply, I feel that he was definitely trying to hit on you. (Please note that this doesn't mean that he's serious about you.) I mean unless you guys have been conversing on a regular basis, that shouldn't be an "opening message" to someone. Informing you about his break up was a clear sign that he wanted you to know that he's single.
"Then we texted for a few days. Flirtatiously. I know this sounds...... 'cheap', he invited me to his home." Well, I wouldn't say you're cheap. After all, being young and inexperienced (as described from the earlier part of your email) it's inevitable to wanna explore and try things you haven't before. I guess by reciprocating to his request, it does seem that you show some interest in this guy as well.
"We only made out...... I don't know why but I felt really affected by this, I constantly this about him." Thinking of someone most of the time could just mean that they gave you something memorable to ponder on. Girls being girls, it's even more normal to be perpetually thinking, especially about a guy who made an impression in our lives. In your case, by giving you your first kiss.
"He hardly replies my text, this happens even before we made out..... He never starts the conversation and such." These two reasons alone are sufficient to prove that this guy is probably not that into you. With affection comes effort, if he doesn't feel the need to text you first (not even once).... Then as crude as this may sound, he doesn't need you in his life either.
All in all, it's human nature to feel attracted to the people we can't get or show us the least attention in most instances. The little sparks and butterflies in your tummy would sometimes get the better of you, leading you to think that you're in love when you're actually not. In other words, how you feel towards him now could possibly just be a moment of infatuation. Sometimes, we get carried away and our emotions get swayed by simple, yet temporary things. It's just like how we have crushes, but they may not necessarily be permanent. Today you're mesmerised by his charm, tomorrow you might fall head over heels for someone who's even better.
Often times, we conclude things way too fast before we could even settle down, compose ourselves and figure out how we really feel deep down.
I can't decide on your behalf whether or not you're "in love" with this guy, but I know such fuzzy feelings are hard to ignore. It's like an irresistible temptation that keeps you wanting more. My advice to you is that you should just cut him off entirely (don't even bother being friends, cause trust me, it's gonna confuse you further) Don't even bother wasting your time. Leave, and if he comes back you know he's true. However, don't ever wait in hope that he will come back for you. After all, as the old saying goes, expectations lead to disappointments.
The problem with most people is that they "give it a try" too many times before they finally realise it's not working out and by then; with more memories, attachment and feelings, it's gonna be a lot harder to leave. So leave while you could.
Since it's your first time, just take it easy! It's fine to "not have an ex" If your friends judge you for that, be like...
And don't ever find a guy who uses you as a substitute for his loss, if he could go right to you after his break up, you can't assure he won't do the same to you!
Anyway, all these are just how I feel and what I would do if I were you. You'd have to make the final call whether to stay on or not. After all, I don't know who he is and how he is like and I may be wrong.
Whatever it is,
But yeap! I hope you'd get to see this and I'd be glad if it helps. :)
Best of luck!
Send in your questions today to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM.
Labels: Advices, Asknaomi, BGR, Relationships, Teenagers, Views Times have changed.
Times
have changed.
As
much as the title speaks for itself most of the time, this post is probably not
exactly what you expected it to be. It's more of my perspective on what BGR's
like, amongst us teens these days.
I've
always wanted to talk about this, but I've never felt this eager to write it
until today. It's like this burning urge that perpetually prompts me to do so.
Right,
let’s cut to the chase.
.
.
.
Teens
today are more likely forced to face sexualised information at every turn
compared to what it's like 10 years back.
From
TV, media, magazines and peers, sexuality appears to be a
popular topic that contributes to our daily conversations. To an extent where
so many are starting to disregard their values as the issue on sexuality
arises.
It's
hard to keep abreast of what's going on nowadays, because of the complexities of our contemporary society. It's all
about doing the "in-thing" and being up-to-date now. Traditions and
beliefs? How many teens of this century actually bother?
So anyway, what I'd be touching
on today would be things like - The expectations on what majority of us have
versus what's it's really like in reality and the speed in which people are
getting in and out of a relationship.
EXPECTATIONS.
Most
common problem? Setting your expectations too high. Not sure if it applies to
everything, but expecting too much from someone could easily be one of the most
heart-rending problems on earth.
Ever
been in a situation where you stayed up all night, just to wait for his/her
call, but they didn't call? And it's not because they've forgotten to do so,
it's just that you expected them to, but the call never came.
Or
a situation where you spent a crazy amount of time and effort to surprise
someone, but their response wasn't what you expected?
All
these are signs that you're expecting. And as the old saying goes, "The
greater the expectation, the bigger the disappointment."
Sad
to say, that's probably the case more than half the time. As humans, it's
only normal to expect something from someone you've given the
world to. Whether you expect them to reciprocate through words or actions,
you're still pinning your hopes on
them that they'll react the way you want them to.
Girls
- We are rather notorious for having this tendency of contradicting what we
say. Yeah, it's undeniable that the things we say don't usually reflect how we
truly feel.
Guys
- Male chauvinists? I guess it's nothing new that guys don't even wanna express
how they feel at times, especially when pride and ego comes in the way.
However,
there's something we both have in common. Fear.
Through
personal experiences and what I've garnered from my peers, I'm aware that
sometimes the key factor that acts as a hindrance to "speaking your
mind," can simply be due to FEAR.
As
a girl, we are more likely to be vulnerable by nature, it's not surprising to
know that many of you (sometimes even myself) are fearful of rejection. Of
course, it works the same way for some guys.(OK, I can't speak from a guy's pov,
but this is what my guy friends shared with me)
For
instance - You're expecting the other party to make the first move to text you,
but when they don't... You naturally assume it's because they don't bother.
May
be the case, but always give them the benefit of doubt - Who knows? Fear might
be holding them back.
I
mean, I've been lucky (or rather unlucky) to experience both situations before.
And I understand that, it's hard not to feel unimportant.
Similarly,
I could strongly empathise with how it is to be afraid. Afraid of not receiving
a reply, afraid that the reply would be something you might end up being like,
"I wish I didn't send that msg!" or a reply that might make you feel
worse from what you're already feeling before.
Unfortunately,
I feel that the only way to solve this is to stop worrying so much. I live by
this thinking, "I'd rather do something I'm dying to do, and fail, than to
live with a regret of not even trying." Yes, it sucks! It sucks when
you've to face failure despite all the effort you've invested.
However,
you'd get over it eventually. Cos you know you've tried. On the contrary, when
you don't try at all, because of whatever reason that holds you back... You
might have to live with this "What if I actually..." thinking for the
rest of your life.
Fact
is, worrying too much won't help solve a problem. Anyone could make the first
move and the both of you could easily be conversing away. Yet half the time,
people expect and worry too much... Who benefits at the end?
No one.
You'd
just end up making yourself feel miserable for the opportunity you've lost.
Don't
just sit there and wait for happiness to come knocking on your door. After all,
we usually won't cherish the things that come to us easily. If you want it,
earn it, do something about it.
Continue
allowing your fear to hold you back, and you will NEVER be
able to attain what you pine for.
Learn
to stop expecting. It's something I've to learn to. It's really tough, but
you've to realise that every one of us function
differently.
If
you love someone, do things for them unconditionally. Of course, for the right
person. If that person's just being a douchebag, and takes advantage of you...
KICK THEM IN THE FACE. Kidding.
Point
is to express how you truly feel. Honesty is the first most
crucial step in sustaining a healthy relationship. Every little lie
counts.
RELATIONSHIPS.
BGR could easily top the charts for being one of the social ills which is
prevalent in this society today.
Before
I start, let me share with you a bit on my relationship background.
I've been in and out of several "flirtationships" ((n) – A social
situation that comprises more than a friendship, but less than a relationship),
but I'd only consider two of them a legit relationship.
Not
that I wasn't serious with the rest, but I excluded them only because I felt
like it wasn't "real" for either one of us.
I'm really sensitive and sentimental. I'm probably one of the overly-attached
girlfriends when I'm in love, and I take really long to forget someone even
when it's over.
Sometimes, you can date so many other people only to realise no one's as good as that special
someone.
And when I mean good, I don't just mean whether they fit your standards or not.
They can be a million times better, but it's funny how you still choose to love
that one person.
Love isn't blind. You actually see those flaws, but you choose to accept them.
Love isn't about changing someone. I've been the girl who's always hoping to
change the guy I'm with, but if I'm trying to change him, doesn't that prove
something?
That maybe I don't really like him for who he really is after all.
Sometimes, you think you love someone only to realise that the only thing you
enjoyed was that ambiguous relationship you had with the other party.
That phase is the sweetest.
Anyway, I hate the process of getting out of a relationship, I hate crying
myself to sleep for nights, I hate becoming more insecure than before, I hate
it when I lose my friends just for someone and when he leaves, I'm left alone.
I hate the pain of moving on, I hate watching the other party move on, I hate
wishing he's still not over me, I hate wishing there's a chance of us getting
back together.
I hate the whole process of learning to trust someone new, I hate how guarded I
am towards everyone after every breakup. I really hate going through that sh*t.
So after having to go through it so many times, I learnt to never get into relationships
hastily.
That being said, it sickens me
how relationships are treated like a game to many people of my age in the
recent years.
I definitely not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to know everything about
love, but one thing for sure... No matter how many dates I had previously, I've
never ever get into a relationship UNTIL I'm really certain of how I feel
towards the other party.
The word "love" is badly abused by so many of us - I never understood
how "I REALLY LOVE YOU" can come from a person who only gotta know
you for a couple of days.
Of course, there is chance that people might indeed fall in love with each
other within the first few times of meeting up, but that's not what I'm talking
about.
To have a stable relationship, I personally feel that you've to build a really
strong foundation. (Unless you're not looking to settle down.) Remember those
days where it's always that same old process - From strangers, to
acquaintances, to friends and then to lovers?
Seems like that's no longer the case. Everything escalates so quickly these
days. Couple of chats, meet-ups... *BAM* steady, *BAM BAM* broken off.
It's crazy!
I always thought relationships were special, but what's it like now?
As much as it's a positive thing
how technology does wonders these days, it's ruining so many traditions too.
Relationships these days are so much harder because of how conversations are
made through texting, feelings are expressed through our updates on social
platforms...
Tell me, how many fights
and misunderstandings today are caused by all these indirect updates online?
Stop writing your feelings down on Twitter, hoping your partner sees it! You've
a phone, you've their number... Text/call them!
-
And due to how exposed all of us are to the Western culture, we tend to forget
our values. I really hate how conservative we can be at times, but there's only
so much you can do. As much as you'd love to walk out of the house without a
bra, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you'd like to share about your sex-life with your parents, hoping
they'd be open about you, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you yearn to make out in public, YOU CAN'T.
I've noticed how influenced my peers are towards all the Western values,
talking about sex and whatsoever openly on Twitter... I'm definitely not trying
to say that it's a bad thing. In fact, it's rather unpreventable in this
society we are in today.
However, I'm just so upset to see how majority of the relationships now could
only last for weeks.
You see them whining about how much they love and want someone for a week...
Next thing you know? They are with someone new.
It's sad to see how people can get into a relationship, claim to love the other
party, and still cheat. Stop being selfish and greedy. You can't have the best
of both worlds, call it off if you can't stay faithful.
Works
the same way for girls.
-
What I've to say to the girls,
For
the guys,
Last
but not least,
Love isn't sex
Which boils down to the last thing I wish to address - Respect.
Besides, trust and honesty, it's important to always have mutual respect for each other.
Girls, respect his privacy. Yeah, if he has nothing to hide from his phone he shouldn't be afraid, but that doesn't give you the rights to check it without his permission.
Guys, respect her body. If she feels like she's not rear, don't force her. As contradicting as we can be at time, when we say "NO," to these kinda things…. We mean business.
Don't offer your body to the guy you love, if he only offers his love to have your body.
.
.
.
Anyway, since we're on this topic… I thought some of you may be interested in something I've found out about recently.
Clicknetwork.tv is casting for their brand new reality show!
This is definitely a rare opportunity for those of you who have always wanted to be a part of a web reality series :)
And hear this; you will also stand to win $8,000 cash!
To those of who are mugging for exams, or the people who are preparing for school… this is a good reason to take a short break from all the studying! The show promises to be fun and educational. Best part of it? You will also meet new friends!
Registration closes on the 10 of January 2014, so do sign up now if you are interested! @ http://bit.ly/1hXZA7P.
You can also register directly by emailing your name, age and mobile number to casting@clicknetwork.tv.
Good luck! & I hope you guys learned something from today's entry! :)
Labels: BGR, Campaigns/Engagements, Event Coverage, Rants, Relationships, Teenagers, Views
Ask Naomi #1 How To Know If You Are In Love
Thursday, August 28, 2014 | 9:23 PM | 2comments
If you don't already know, I've set up a new email where you guys could send me your problems and questions to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM. Basically I will select one or more questions to reply anonymously on Thursdays.
Disclaimer - Not trying to say that I know it all or that I guarantee to give the best advices, but these opinions are just based on my personal experiences. And I sincerely hope I could help most of you by doing this.
Hence, please do not be offended if I were to say something that you don't feel the same towards. Everything I say here comes with no ill intentions. (I mean c'mon, I don't even know majority of these people who emailed me, personally.)
Without further ado, here's one question I chose to answer today.
Thank you so much for the support. It really melts my heart to know that there's actually someone out there who believes in me and supports me in the things I do.
Here's what I have to say with regard to your situation,
Firstly, I guess it was a good thing that the both of you weren't romantically involved in each other's lives, knowing that he was attached back then, cos it would've made things a lot messier.
Moving on, "I have this event and since his crew. was involved I texted him asking if he would be present. Instead of giving me an answer, he told me he just broke up with his girlfriend." From his rather "irrelevant" reply, I feel that he was definitely trying to hit on you. (Please note that this doesn't mean that he's serious about you.) I mean unless you guys have been conversing on a regular basis, that shouldn't be an "opening message" to someone. Informing you about his break up was a clear sign that he wanted you to know that he's single.
"Then we texted for a few days. Flirtatiously. I know this sounds...... 'cheap', he invited me to his home." Well, I wouldn't say you're cheap. After all, being young and inexperienced (as described from the earlier part of your email) it's inevitable to wanna explore and try things you haven't before. I guess by reciprocating to his request, it does seem that you show some interest in this guy as well.
"We only made out...... I don't know why but I felt really affected by this, I constantly this about him." Thinking of someone most of the time could just mean that they gave you something memorable to ponder on. Girls being girls, it's even more normal to be perpetually thinking, especially about a guy who made an impression in our lives. In your case, by giving you your first kiss.
"He hardly replies my text, this happens even before we made out..... He never starts the conversation and such." These two reasons alone are sufficient to prove that this guy is probably not that into you. With affection comes effort, if he doesn't feel the need to text you first (not even once).... Then as crude as this may sound, he doesn't need you in his life either.
All in all, it's human nature to feel attracted to the people we can't get or show us the least attention in most instances. The little sparks and butterflies in your tummy would sometimes get the better of you, leading you to think that you're in love when you're actually not. In other words, how you feel towards him now could possibly just be a moment of infatuation. Sometimes, we get carried away and our emotions get swayed by simple, yet temporary things. It's just like how we have crushes, but they may not necessarily be permanent. Today you're mesmerised by his charm, tomorrow you might fall head over heels for someone who's even better.
Often times, we conclude things way too fast before we could even settle down, compose ourselves and figure out how we really feel deep down.
I can't decide on your behalf whether or not you're "in love" with this guy, but I know such fuzzy feelings are hard to ignore. It's like an irresistible temptation that keeps you wanting more. My advice to you is that you should just cut him off entirely (don't even bother being friends, cause trust me, it's gonna confuse you further) Don't even bother wasting your time. Leave, and if he comes back you know he's true. However, don't ever wait in hope that he will come back for you. After all, as the old saying goes, expectations lead to disappointments.
The problem with most people is that they "give it a try" too many times before they finally realise it's not working out and by then; with more memories, attachment and feelings, it's gonna be a lot harder to leave. So leave while you could.
Since it's your first time, just take it easy! It's fine to "not have an ex" If your friends judge you for that, be like...
And don't ever find a guy who uses you as a substitute for his loss, if he could go right to you after his break up, you can't assure he won't do the same to you!
Anyway, all these are just how I feel and what I would do if I were you. You'd have to make the final call whether to stay on or not. After all, I don't know who he is and how he is like and I may be wrong.
Whatever it is,
But yeap! I hope you'd get to see this and I'd be glad if it helps. :)
Best of luck!
Send in your questions today to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM.
Labels: Advices, Asknaomi, BGR, Relationships, Teenagers, Views Times have changed.
Monday, December 23, 2013 | 2:43 PM | 1comments
Times
have changed.
As
much as the title speaks for itself most of the time, this post is probably not
exactly what you expected it to be. It's more of my perspective on what BGR's
like, amongst us teens these days.
I've
always wanted to talk about this, but I've never felt this eager to write it
until today. It's like this burning urge that perpetually prompts me to do so.
Right,
let’s cut to the chase.
.
.
.
Teens
today are more likely forced to face sexualised information at every turn
compared to what it's like 10 years back.
From
TV, media, magazines and peers, sexuality appears to be a
popular topic that contributes to our daily conversations. To an extent where
so many are starting to disregard their values as the issue on sexuality
arises.
It's
hard to keep abreast of what's going on nowadays, because of the complexities of our contemporary society. It's all
about doing the "in-thing" and being up-to-date now. Traditions and
beliefs? How many teens of this century actually bother?
So anyway, what I'd be touching
on today would be things like - The expectations on what majority of us have
versus what's it's really like in reality and the speed in which people are
getting in and out of a relationship.
EXPECTATIONS.
Most
common problem? Setting your expectations too high. Not sure if it applies to
everything, but expecting too much from someone could easily be one of the most
heart-rending problems on earth.
Ever
been in a situation where you stayed up all night, just to wait for his/her
call, but they didn't call? And it's not because they've forgotten to do so,
it's just that you expected them to, but the call never came.
Or
a situation where you spent a crazy amount of time and effort to surprise
someone, but their response wasn't what you expected?
All
these are signs that you're expecting. And as the old saying goes, "The
greater the expectation, the bigger the disappointment."
Sad
to say, that's probably the case more than half the time. As humans, it's
only normal to expect something from someone you've given the
world to. Whether you expect them to reciprocate through words or actions,
you're still pinning your hopes on
them that they'll react the way you want them to.
Girls
- We are rather notorious for having this tendency of contradicting what we
say. Yeah, it's undeniable that the things we say don't usually reflect how we
truly feel.
Guys
- Male chauvinists? I guess it's nothing new that guys don't even wanna express
how they feel at times, especially when pride and ego comes in the way.
However,
there's something we both have in common. Fear.
Through
personal experiences and what I've garnered from my peers, I'm aware that
sometimes the key factor that acts as a hindrance to "speaking your
mind," can simply be due to FEAR.
As
a girl, we are more likely to be vulnerable by nature, it's not surprising to
know that many of you (sometimes even myself) are fearful of rejection. Of
course, it works the same way for some guys.(OK, I can't speak from a guy's pov,
but this is what my guy friends shared with me)
For
instance - You're expecting the other party to make the first move to text you,
but when they don't... You naturally assume it's because they don't bother.
May
be the case, but always give them the benefit of doubt - Who knows? Fear might
be holding them back.
I
mean, I've been lucky (or rather unlucky) to experience both situations before.
And I understand that, it's hard not to feel unimportant.
Similarly,
I could strongly empathise with how it is to be afraid. Afraid of not receiving
a reply, afraid that the reply would be something you might end up being like,
"I wish I didn't send that msg!" or a reply that might make you feel
worse from what you're already feeling before.
Unfortunately,
I feel that the only way to solve this is to stop worrying so much. I live by
this thinking, "I'd rather do something I'm dying to do, and fail, than to
live with a regret of not even trying." Yes, it sucks! It sucks when
you've to face failure despite all the effort you've invested.
However,
you'd get over it eventually. Cos you know you've tried. On the contrary, when
you don't try at all, because of whatever reason that holds you back... You
might have to live with this "What if I actually..." thinking for the
rest of your life.
Fact
is, worrying too much won't help solve a problem. Anyone could make the first
move and the both of you could easily be conversing away. Yet half the time,
people expect and worry too much... Who benefits at the end?
No one.
You'd
just end up making yourself feel miserable for the opportunity you've lost.
Don't
just sit there and wait for happiness to come knocking on your door. After all,
we usually won't cherish the things that come to us easily. If you want it,
earn it, do something about it.
Continue
allowing your fear to hold you back, and you will NEVER be
able to attain what you pine for.
Learn
to stop expecting. It's something I've to learn to. It's really tough, but
you've to realise that every one of us function
differently.
If
you love someone, do things for them unconditionally. Of course, for the right
person. If that person's just being a douchebag, and takes advantage of you...
KICK THEM IN THE FACE. Kidding.
Point
is to express how you truly feel. Honesty is the first most
crucial step in sustaining a healthy relationship. Every little lie
counts.
RELATIONSHIPS.
BGR could easily top the charts for being one of the social ills which is
prevalent in this society today.
Before
I start, let me share with you a bit on my relationship background.
I've been in and out of several "flirtationships" ((n) – A social
situation that comprises more than a friendship, but less than a relationship),
but I'd only consider two of them a legit relationship.
Not
that I wasn't serious with the rest, but I excluded them only because I felt
like it wasn't "real" for either one of us.
I'm really sensitive and sentimental. I'm probably one of the overly-attached
girlfriends when I'm in love, and I take really long to forget someone even
when it's over.
Sometimes, you can date so many other people only to realise no one's as good as that special
someone.
And when I mean good, I don't just mean whether they fit your standards or not.
They can be a million times better, but it's funny how you still choose to love
that one person.
Love isn't blind. You actually see those flaws, but you choose to accept them.
Love isn't about changing someone. I've been the girl who's always hoping to
change the guy I'm with, but if I'm trying to change him, doesn't that prove
something?
That maybe I don't really like him for who he really is after all.
Sometimes, you think you love someone only to realise that the only thing you
enjoyed was that ambiguous relationship you had with the other party.
That phase is the sweetest.
Anyway, I hate the process of getting out of a relationship, I hate crying
myself to sleep for nights, I hate becoming more insecure than before, I hate
it when I lose my friends just for someone and when he leaves, I'm left alone.
I hate the pain of moving on, I hate watching the other party move on, I hate
wishing he's still not over me, I hate wishing there's a chance of us getting
back together.
I hate the whole process of learning to trust someone new, I hate how guarded I
am towards everyone after every breakup. I really hate going through that sh*t.
So after having to go through it so many times, I learnt to never get into relationships
hastily.
That being said, it sickens me
how relationships are treated like a game to many people of my age in the
recent years.
I definitely not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to know everything about
love, but one thing for sure... No matter how many dates I had previously, I've
never ever get into a relationship UNTIL I'm really certain of how I feel
towards the other party.
The word "love" is badly abused by so many of us - I never understood
how "I REALLY LOVE YOU" can come from a person who only gotta know
you for a couple of days.
Of course, there is chance that people might indeed fall in love with each
other within the first few times of meeting up, but that's not what I'm talking
about.
To have a stable relationship, I personally feel that you've to build a really
strong foundation. (Unless you're not looking to settle down.) Remember those
days where it's always that same old process - From strangers, to
acquaintances, to friends and then to lovers?
Seems like that's no longer the case. Everything escalates so quickly these
days. Couple of chats, meet-ups... *BAM* steady, *BAM BAM* broken off.
It's crazy!
I always thought relationships were special, but what's it like now?
As much as it's a positive thing
how technology does wonders these days, it's ruining so many traditions too.
Relationships these days are so much harder because of how conversations are
made through texting, feelings are expressed through our updates on social
platforms...
Tell me, how many fights
and misunderstandings today are caused by all these indirect updates online?
Stop writing your feelings down on Twitter, hoping your partner sees it! You've
a phone, you've their number... Text/call them!
-
And due to how exposed all of us are to the Western culture, we tend to forget
our values. I really hate how conservative we can be at times, but there's only
so much you can do. As much as you'd love to walk out of the house without a
bra, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you'd like to share about your sex-life with your parents, hoping
they'd be open about you, YOU CAN'T.
As much as you yearn to make out in public, YOU CAN'T.
I've noticed how influenced my peers are towards all the Western values,
talking about sex and whatsoever openly on Twitter... I'm definitely not trying
to say that it's a bad thing. In fact, it's rather unpreventable in this
society we are in today.
However, I'm just so upset to see how majority of the relationships now could
only last for weeks.
You see them whining about how much they love and want someone for a week...
Next thing you know? They are with someone new.
It's sad to see how people can get into a relationship, claim to love the other
party, and still cheat. Stop being selfish and greedy. You can't have the best
of both worlds, call it off if you can't stay faithful.
Works
the same way for girls.
-
What I've to say to the girls,
For
the guys,
Last
but not least,
Love isn't sex
Which boils down to the last thing I wish to address - Respect.
Besides, trust and honesty, it's important to always have mutual respect for each other.
Girls, respect his privacy. Yeah, if he has nothing to hide from his phone he shouldn't be afraid, but that doesn't give you the rights to check it without his permission.
Guys, respect her body. If she feels like she's not rear, don't force her. As contradicting as we can be at time, when we say "NO," to these kinda things…. We mean business.
Don't offer your body to the guy you love, if he only offers his love to have your body.
.
.
.
Anyway, since we're on this topic… I thought some of you may be interested in something I've found out about recently.
Clicknetwork.tv is casting for their brand new reality show!
This is definitely a rare opportunity for those of you who have always wanted to be a part of a web reality series :)
And hear this; you will also stand to win $8,000 cash!
To those of who are mugging for exams, or the people who are preparing for school… this is a good reason to take a short break from all the studying! The show promises to be fun and educational. Best part of it? You will also meet new friends!
Registration closes on the 10 of January 2014, so do sign up now if you are interested! @ http://bit.ly/1hXZA7P.
You can also register directly by emailing your name, age and mobile number to casting@clicknetwork.tv.
Good luck! & I hope you guys learned something from today's entry! :)
Labels: BGR, Campaigns/Engagements, Event Coverage, Rants, Relationships, Teenagers, Views
ABOUT ME
Hey there! I share about anything and everything here. You can choose to leave, but I think you should get to know me a little more before you pass your judgement. Check out my FAQ section if it helps.
Who are you?
I'm Naomi, better known as Naomi Neo, and I'm born on the 25th of January 1996. I don't have any siblings, but I'm grateful to have the best parents in the world, who love me unconditionally, and a best friend Trixy who's been there for me for the past 5 years. Currently titled as the youngest "Celebrity Blogger" under my management, Gushcloud - With approximately 124k likes & followers on my Facebook profile and page, 80k followers on twitter and 116k on Instagram currently.
What are you known for?
Honestly, I've no idea what am I known for in majority's eyes, but here's what I presume and hope to be recognised for - I've been writing on all my social platforms since 2009, and got kind of known from writing my thoughts and views on Facebook. My first blog post that went viral was an entry dedicated to my good friend back then, titled "Mothers," in late 2010. Noticing the positive results, I decided to take blogging a little more seriously in 2011. Since then, I've been told that my posts were relatable and inspiring to many, which hence, got me to where I am today.
How well to do is your family? You seem rather spoilt.
I think I'm just average and if you think I'm wealthy rich and spoilt, you're so wrong. I mean yes, my parents do pamper me cos I'm the only child, but I've never taken their money since 2013. And I pay for all my clothes, accessories, make up and 90% of my daily necessities from the money I earn.
What are your stats?
I'm a UK 4 or 6, I've been stuck between 38kg - 40kg. Since I've never really talked about my height, you can deduce I'm exceptionally short and I'm not proud of it - So if you know it, good for you. If you don't, too bad I'm not revealing it. :p
Are you single?
Yes I am. My last relationship was in 2013, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
Do you photoshop your pictures?
No, I don't. Cos I honestly have no idea how to use that crazily complexed software. Ok, it's not very complicated I suppose. I'm just god damn lazy. I only use it to design my texts etc. However, I've been using PicMonkey to edit my pictures. Yeah I know, the main question's still back to whether I "beautify" myself or not. Er, I've no idea what's up with people constantly harping on this issue. The last time I claimed that I don't, was probably in 2012 (which I really didn't back then) But along the way, I figured it was necessary to "upgrade" myself and learn how to. If I can't do plastic surgery, at least make my pictures look chio what. If you know how to, question is, WHY NOT? And, don't you guys wanna see nice pictures too?!?! However I'd like to emphasise that - I do not beautify myself in all my pictures. I only do so when I feel the need to. And 3/4 of the time, I only make adjustments to my gigantic, elephant legs WHICH I admit, I'm very insecure about. So don't tell me my legs are damn nice la, cos some pictures are deceiving. Anyway, I've tons of videos everywhere... Judge for yourself?
Did you have any plastic surgery done?
No I didn't. Firstly, I could not afford to. Secondly, even if I do have the money, my parents are definitely not open to the idea. Thirdly, if I have the money and my parents' consent... OH PLEASE, I would have made myself look a zillion times better than how I am now. So some of you may ask, why is it that I have parallel eyelids. I've mentioned this before, but since some of you are too lazy to find out the truth - Fyi, I am born with double eyelids to begin with, I just wanted to have parallel instead of tapered eyelids. And in case you're really sensitive about it, I'm not saying tapered's not nice... It's just personal preference. In case you don't know what I'm talking about...
So yeah, I tried using eyelid tapes for about 6 months in 2011, and miraculously, have permanent parallel lids since then. I think I'm really lucky. Why do I say so? Cos it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Are you insecure about your looks?
Yes I am, to a certain extent. I believe you would too, if you have a hundred people reminding you about your flaws every single day. But the thing is, I love myself. So I've accepted that's it's fine not to be perfect.
Do you think you're attention seeking?
Most ridiculous question ever. My question to you is, are you not? This is probably my millionth time saying this, but I think everyone seeks for attention. The only thing that differentiates each of us would be the miles we would travel for it. From a level of - I want attention to Kim Kardashian, it's just a matter of fact how much you want it. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with it unless you're doing something despicable, and harming someone to your own benefits. Besides, no matter how much I love it - It may sound ironic, but I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when it's for something I worked hard to gain. If you know me well enough, I'm not the kind who would go nude just to get myself to where I want. (Just an example)
How do you deal with your haters?
I've been receiving nasty comments since the day I had a blog, in 2007. I've seen the worst, and it came to a point where it amuses me, because I actually get to find out things I didn't know about myself. I used to care so much, I would cry myself to bed on most nights and I even had issues stepping out of my house at a period of time. However, it took me years to realise how stupid it is to reciprocate to what people who don't me have to say, especially stories/rumours they fabricate. I'm fine with constructive criticisms because I've learnt to take it the positive way - Helping me to improve and get better. Of course it still pisses me off at times when I see untrue stuff about me circulated around by my haters, and I'd either ignore it (if it's nothing too serious) or address it, in other words, stand up for myself (if I find a need to.) And when I ignore it, I don't look at it in a way where I'm a coward or I admit to it - I just find it a waste of time to acknowledge the existence of these people, when most of them are just dying to get my response from their juvenile remarks. Yet when I retaliate, (which I rarely do these days) I only do so when something's getting out of hand. Like if it's tarnishing my reputation or sort. After all, I'm a girl. And I wouldn't "just ignore it" if it affects my name. If I don't stand up for myself, who would? Then again, I don't think that means I care about my haters - I just care about myself enough to want to shut your mouth. Besides, I can stop 1, 2 or 3 people from talking about me, but how many times can I do so? Fact is, you can't please everyone. So it's either you focus on what you have, or waste your life by dwelling on what you don't. And for those friends who decided to leave and hate me for what others have to say? Here's a big... THANK YOU. Haha, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realised who my real friends were.
Do you think you deserve what you have now?
Honestly, I've always felt that I don't in a way, cos of how affected I used to be about what people have to say - "There are better looking people out there," "You are not good enough!" etc. However, I've came to a realisation that it's impossible to be the best. Cos there will always be someone better, no matter how good you think you are. And as long as I think I've done my best, I don't see why I don't deserve to be where I am today. I've worked so hard for the things I have, and it's not like everything I have is an overnight success. So too bad if you beg to differ and think that a) I'm only here due to my looks, which I think is completely senseless, cos if it was just about my looks, I wouldn't have been around after so long - Taking into consideration, the ever-rising number of good-looking people there are today. b) it's bcos of what I write, cos I definitely won't claim to be the best writer. Somehow it's still a mystery to me why people still read my blog until today. c) and it's probably cos you don't know me well enough. I definitely agree that someone out there deserves this so much more than I do, but I guess it's true that life's unfair, and I'm sorry I have no control over it.
Fan mails, personal questions, or need an advice?
Contact me at asknaomineo@gmail.com
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