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Times have changed.
Monday, December 23, 2013 | 2:43 PM | 1 comments



Times have changed.

As much as the title speaks for itself most of the time, this post is probably not exactly what you expected it to be. It's more of my perspective on what BGR's like, amongst us teens these days.

I've always wanted to talk about this, but I've never felt this eager to write it until today. It's like this burning urge that perpetually prompts me to do so.

Right, lets cut to the chase.

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Teens today are more likely forced to face sexualised information at every turn compared to what it's like 10 years back.
From TV, media, magazines and peers, sexuality appears to be a popular topic that contributes to our daily conversations. To an extent where so many are starting to disregard their values as the issue on sexuality arises.

It's hard to keep abreast of what's going on nowadays, because of the complexities of our contemporary society. It's all about doing the "in-thing" and being up-to-date now. Traditions and beliefs? How many teens of this century actually bother?

So anyway, what I'd be touching on today would be things like - The expectations on what majority of us have versus what's it's really like in reality and the speed in which people are getting in and out of a relationship.

EXPECTATIONS.


Most common problem? Setting your expectations too high. Not sure if it applies to everything, but expecting too much from someone could easily be one of the most heart-rending problems on earth.

Ever been in a situation where you stayed up all night, just to wait for his/her call, but they didn't call? And it's not because they've forgotten to do so, it's just that you expected them to, but the call never came.

Or a situation where you spent a crazy amount of time and effort to surprise someone, but their response wasn't what you expected? 

All these are signs that you're expecting. And as the old saying goes, "The greater the expectation, the bigger the disappointment." 


Sad to say, that's probably the case more than half the time. As humans, it's only normal to expect something from someone you've given the world to. Whether you expect them to reciprocate through words or actions, you're still pinning your hopes on them that they'll react the way you want them to.


 
Girls - We are rather notorious for having this tendency of contradicting what we say. Yeah, it's undeniable that the things we say don't usually reflect how we truly feel. 
Guys - Male chauvinists? I guess it's nothing new that guys don't even wanna express how they feel at times, especially when pride and ego comes in the way.
 
However, there's something we both have in common. Fear. 
 
Through personal experiences and what I've garnered from my peers, I'm aware that sometimes the key factor that acts as a hindrance to "speaking your mind," can simply be due to FEAR.



As a girl, we are more likely to be vulnerable by nature, it's not surprising to know that many of you (sometimes even myself) are fearful of rejection. Of course, it works the same way for some guys.(OK, I can't speak from a guy's pov, but this is what my guy friends shared with me)
For instance - You're expecting the other party to make the first move to text you, but when they don't... You naturally assume it's because they don't bother.
May be the case, but always give them the benefit of doubt - Who knows? Fear might be holding them back. 
I mean, I've been lucky (or rather unlucky) to experience both situations before. And I understand that, it's hard not to feel unimportant. 
Similarly, I could strongly empathise with how it is to be afraid. Afraid of not receiving a reply, afraid that the reply would be something you might end up being like, "I wish I didn't send that msg!" or a reply that might make you feel worse from what you're already feeling before.
Unfortunately, I feel that the only way to solve this is to stop worrying so much. I live by this thinking, "I'd rather do something I'm dying to do, and fail, than to live with a regret of not even trying." Yes, it sucks! It sucks when you've to face failure despite all the effort you've invested.
 
However, you'd get over it eventually. Cos you know you've tried. On the contrary, when you don't try at all, because of whatever reason that holds you back... You might have to live with this "What if I actually..." thinking for the rest of your life.
Fact is, worrying too much won't help solve a problem. Anyone could make the first move and the both of you could easily be conversing away. Yet half the time, people expect and worry too much... Who benefits at the end?
 No one.
You'd just end up making yourself feel miserable for the opportunity you've lost.
Don't just sit there and wait for happiness to come knocking on your door. After all, we usually won't cherish the things that come to us easily. If you want it, earn it, do something about it.
Continue allowing your fear to hold you back, and you will NEVER be able to attain what you pine for. 
Learn to stop expecting. It's something I've to learn to. It's really tough, but you've to realise that every one of us function differently. 
If you love someone, do things for them unconditionally. Of course, for the right person. If that person's just being a douchebag, and takes advantage of you... KICK THEM IN THE FACE. Kidding.
Point is to express how you truly feel. Honesty is the first most crucial step in sustaining a healthy relationship. Every little lie counts.
RELATIONSHIPS.

BGR could easily top the charts for being one of the social ills which is prevalent in this society today.
Before I start, let me share with you a bit on my relationship background.

I've been in and out of several "flirtationships" ((n) – A social situation that comprises more than a friendship, but less than a relationship), but I'd only consider two of them a legit relationship.
Not that I wasn't serious with the rest, but I excluded them only because I felt like it wasn't "real" for either one of us.

I'm really sensitive and sentimental. I'm probably one of the overly-attached girlfriends when I'm in love, and I take really long to forget someone even when it's over.

Sometimes, you can date so many other people only to realise no one's as good as that special someone. 

And when I mean good, I don't just mean whether they fit your standards or not. They can be a million times better, but it's funny how you still choose to love that one person.

Love isn't blind. You actually see those flaws, but you choose to accept them.

Love isn't about changing someone. I've been the girl who's always hoping to change the guy I'm with, but if I'm trying to change him, doesn't that prove something?

That maybe I don't really like him for who he really is after all.

Sometimes, you think you love someone only to realise that the only thing you enjoyed was that ambiguous relationship you had with the other party.

That phase is the sweetest.

Anyway, I hate the process of getting out of a relationship, I hate crying myself to sleep for nights, I hate becoming more insecure than before, I hate it when I lose my friends just for someone and when he leaves, I'm left alone. I hate the pain of moving on, I hate watching the other party move on, I hate wishing he's still not over me, I hate wishing there's a chance of us getting back together.

I hate the whole process of learning to trust someone new, I hate how guarded I am towards everyone after every breakup. I really hate going through that sh*t.

So after having to go through it so many times, I learnt to never get into relationships hastily.
That being said, it sickens me how relationships are treated like a game to many people of my age in the recent years.

I definitely not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to know everything about love, but one thing for sure... No matter how many dates I had previously, I've never ever get into a relationship UNTIL I'm really certain of how I feel towards the other party.

The word "love" is badly abused by so many of us - I never understood how "I REALLY LOVE YOU" can come from a person who only gotta know you for a couple of days.

Of course, there is chance that people might indeed fall in love with each other within the first few times of meeting up, but that's not what I'm talking about.

To have a stable relationship, I personally feel that you've to build a really strong foundation. (Unless you're not looking to settle down.) Remember those days where it's always that same old process - From strangers, to acquaintances, to friends and then to lovers?

Seems like that's no longer the case. Everything escalates so quickly these days. Couple of chats, meet-ups... *BAM* steady, *BAM BAM* broken off.


It's crazy!

I always thought relationships were special, but what's it like now?


As much as it's a positive thing how technology does wonders these days, it's ruining so many traditions too.

Relationships these days are so much harder because of how conversations are made through texting, feelings are expressed through our updates on social platforms...




Tell me, how many fights and misunderstandings today are caused by all these indirect updates online? Stop writing your feelings down on Twitter, hoping your partner sees it! You've a phone, you've their number... Text/call them!

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And due to how exposed all of us are to the Western culture, we tend to forget our values. I really hate how conservative we can be at times, but there's only so much you can do. As much as you'd love to walk out of the house without a bra, YOU CAN'T.

As much as you'd like to share about your sex-life with your parents, hoping they'd be open about you, YOU CAN'T.

As much as you yearn to make out in public, YOU CAN'T.

I've noticed how influenced my peers are towards all the Western values, talking about sex and whatsoever openly on Twitter... I'm definitely not trying to say that it's a bad thing. In fact, it's rather unpreventable in this society we are in today.

However, I'm just so upset to see how majority of the relationships now could only last for weeks.

You see them whining about how much they love and want someone for a week... Next thing you know? They are with someone new.

It's sad to see how people can get into a relationship, claim to love the other party, and still cheat. Stop being selfish and greedy. You can't have the best of both worlds, call it off if you can't stay faithful.

Works the same way for girls.

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What I've to say to the girls,



For the guys,

Last but not least,
 Love isn't sex


Which boils down to the last thing I wish to address - Respect.

Besides, trust and honesty, it's important to always have mutual respect for each other. 

Girls, respect his privacy. Yeah, if he has nothing to hide from his phone he shouldn't be afraid, but that doesn't give  you the rights to check it without his permission.

Guys, respect her body. If she feels like she's not rear, don't force her. As contradicting as we can be at time, when we say "NO," to these kinda things…. We mean business. 

Don't offer your body to the guy you love, if he only offers his love to have your body. 

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Anyway, since we're on this topic… I thought some of you may be interested in something I've found out about recently. 

Clicknetwork.tv is casting for their brand new reality show!

This is definitely a rare opportunity for those of you who have always wanted to be a part of a web reality series :) 
And hear this; you will also stand to win $8,000 cash! 


  To those of who are mugging for exams, or  the people who are preparing for school… this is a good reason to take a short break from all the studying! The show promises to be fun and educational. Best part of it? You will also meet new friends! 

Registration closes on the 10 of January 2014, so do sign up now if you are interested! @ http://bit.ly/1hXZA7P
You can also register directly by emailing your name, age and mobile number to casting@clicknetwork.tv. 

Good luck! & I hope you guys learned something from today's entry! :) 

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