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You're beautiful
Saturday, October 26, 2013 | 12:00 PM | 0 comments
I'm aware I've already done a short video on my Youtube channel previously, which I spoke about my insecurities, but I guess it's been some time since I wrote a post on something more personal, and I just wanted to share with you guys how I deal with these problems I face.
My biggest insecurity.
I titled this "insecurity," not because I only feel insecure about one thing. It's just that if I were to list down all my insecurities, this post could probably beat the thickness of an encyclopedia easily. Haha, so lets not get started on that.
A handful of you might already be cursing and swearing because you feel that there's nothing I should feel insecure about. Not that I agree with that, but I guess everyone, despite how people around them may think that they are perfect, they'd never discover their own strengths at times.
All we usually focus on are our flaws, because no one else sees them as often as we do.
So as long as you're human, I guess there would be something you ought to feel discontented about about yourself?
Plenty of you would've already realise that I'm actually rather petite in size, and I'm not sure how many of you tall people out there wish to be shorter, but I've never fancied my height.
Why?
I mean, you usually hear people criticising short people, but I believe we hardly ever see someone mocking a tall person for being too tall.
I'm not intending on listing out the pros and cons of being tall and short, and make a comparison between both, neither am I planning on trying to speak from a tall person's POV.
I just wanna tell you how I feel, and how I've been feeling over the years.
I never really had an issue with my height in primary school. I mean after all, that was the period when everyone was probably around my height. Lol.
However, it all started to hit me when I got into Secondary school.
Over the years, I've always been hoping that I'll grow an inch or two, but I felt like I never did since sec 3, when I was 15. Sobs :(
There was once, that year... A guy actually ditched me for my height. It sounds really shallow, now that I reminisce and have that whole situation running through my mind again, but back then that wasn't how I see it.
What a poignant reminder of how superficial people are these days...
I was, undeniably devastated, and I also felt really lousy about myself. It took me some time to get over it, but it wasn't long before it started to affect me all over again.
Last year was the year where I started hiding in my shell, because of all the nasty remarks I had to face online. Besides dwelling on an insult for the entire day, it had such a big impact on me that there was one point of time where I just wanted to isolate myself from everyone.
I felt really self conscious about my body, especially my height.
It was bothering me so bad that I just didn't want to put on flats despite wherever I was going to.
Also, I hated how everyone treats me like a 3 year old just because of how petite I was. How people think it's fine to continue teasing me, just because I kept mum each time they did.
Compared to all my friends in the Blogsphere, I always felt really tiny. Not just physically, but my visibility as well. I felt pathetic.
Most of them are models, and even if they aren't exactly supermodel-kinda-tall, they are usually slim enough to compensate for their height.
I've turned down a handful of photoshoot opportunities because I was always afraid someone might compare me to some other model that's way taller.
And that's probably one of the worst feeling ever, because I really love modelling.
There was once I even resorted to starving myself because I thought that, "Hmm, maybe if I'm skinny, I won't look like a stubby teapot."
It hurts even though I act like I'm cool with it. I'm strong enough to put up a fake smile, but weak enough to be breaking down inside.
And it certainly doesn't feel good when people much younger than you, are way taller than you. Or when you're already in a pair of 5-inch heels, but you're still way shorter than anyone around you.
My height has always been a hinderance to me in many ways. It has never failed to bring down my self esteem despite the number of people telling me it's fine.
I may have a million things about myself that I'm unsatisfied with, but if there's one thing I could change, it'd definitely be my height.
Well, but that's not the point of this post anyway. The main purpose of sharing with you guys this is solely to bring a message across - As cliche as it sounds, everyone's flawed and nobody's perfect. It might be a cheesy, old phrase, but it is the truth.
And the good news is, this has all become a part of the past now, I've learnt to accept myself for who I am, and even if I think about it once in awhile, it's no longer something that I'd spend hours dwelling on anymore.
Well, I've met so many people who goes like "Wow, you're really short in real life," it comes to a point where I just can't be bothered anymore.
If I can't change the way I am, why not change the way I think? Right?
I can't do anything about my height, and as much as I love looking at pretty heels and feeling taller sometimes, I still love being in sneakers, because nothing feels better than being yourself.
In fact, I often feel encouraged by friends around me who constantly remind me of how I'm "beautiful" just the way I am, and that's definitely how any girl or anyone should feel.
All I have to say now is... I'm pretty comfortable with my own height, and if you aren't? Too bad!
How do you overcome your insecurity(s) based?
I suppose the first, and most essential step to overcoming an insecurity is to acknowledge the existence of it and embrace it.
Instead of finding all sorts of methods to hide this flaw, why not just be proud to be imperfect?
I know it's easier said than done, but I guess it's always a good thing to make the first move, and to prevail on. It might be difficult, but nothing good comes easy right?
What's the cons of showing your flaw? Being mocked?
Well, if you look at it from another angle, chances are, people would probably stop being a prick if you actually show them that you're aware of this flaw, and can't be bothered with it instead of hiding it deliberately.
People will eventually lose the thrill of making fun of you, if you don't respond to them.
In other words? Learn how to joke with your insecurities, that way... You have the upper-hand!
Next, you need to accept that everyone has their own flaws, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Look around you. You might be captivated by someone's beauty and wishing you had those looks too, but has it ever come across to you that someone else might be envious of something else that you have?
At the end of the day, we all know that physical appearance is what captures one's attention first, but a good personality is what makes a person stay.
Haha, you get my drift.
Lastly, it's always important to have a positive mindset towards everything. If you feel that something's making you unhappy, why not do something else to make you feel happy? That plays a part in helping to boost your self confidence as well; doing something well.
Personally, picking up DJ-ing at SOM, dancing, and longboarding are ways to help me feel good about myself.
So why not find some time and pick up something you like doing, and perhaps discover a strength of yours that you might have never noticed?
It's never a waste of time to do something you love. After all, you get to learn something new through the process of it.
Let me help you.
If you feel lost with no directions at this moment; no idea what you should do, nor what you like doing... No worries! Let me help you.
So I've recently found out about this really interesting page (click here) that allows you to create your personal avatar!
I guess it's pretty true, and rather accurate.
Best part? It makes me feel good about myself after taking the test. Try it out too!
Complete the scale and remember to take all 4 tests, otherwise your avatar would be incomplete!
How will you be rewarded? You might be one of the FIFTEEN people I'd be looking for, to attend a free Girls Style Dance with me at SOM. ;)
Simply create your own avatar (like what I did above), and share them with me and five other friends of yours on your Instagram or Facebook. Remember to tag me, hashtag #LIVEITUP and leave your contact details for me! I'll be picking FIFTEEN winners by 30 Oct so good luck!!!
I know not everyone would be able to relate and use the advices I've shared, however I still sincerely wish that I managed to help at least a few of you out there!
Just like to remind you that you're not alone, and I'm with you. Not physically, but virtually hahaha. :p
Also, I've actually worked with Xavier on a video few months back, and it's finally out!
It pretty much sums up everything I've said here in this post, and I'm sure you'd enjoy it, so do check it out (here)!
Here are some BTS as well
Alright, will be back for more soon! ;)
Labels: Campaigns/Engagements, Event Coverage, HPB, Insecurities, Rants, School Of Music Singapore, Teenagers, Tips N Guides, Views
You're beautiful
Saturday, October 26, 2013 | 12:00 PM | 0comments
I'm aware I've already done a short video on my Youtube channel previously, which I spoke about my insecurities, but I guess it's been some time since I wrote a post on something more personal, and I just wanted to share with you guys how I deal with these problems I face.
My biggest insecurity.
I titled this "insecurity," not because I only feel insecure about one thing. It's just that if I were to list down all my insecurities, this post could probably beat the thickness of an encyclopedia easily. Haha, so lets not get started on that.
A handful of you might already be cursing and swearing because you feel that there's nothing I should feel insecure about. Not that I agree with that, but I guess everyone, despite how people around them may think that they are perfect, they'd never discover their own strengths at times.
All we usually focus on are our flaws, because no one else sees them as often as we do.
So as long as you're human, I guess there would be something you ought to feel discontented about about yourself?
Plenty of you would've already realise that I'm actually rather petite in size, and I'm not sure how many of you tall people out there wish to be shorter, but I've never fancied my height.
Why?
I mean, you usually hear people criticising short people, but I believe we hardly ever see someone mocking a tall person for being too tall.
I'm not intending on listing out the pros and cons of being tall and short, and make a comparison between both, neither am I planning on trying to speak from a tall person's POV.
I just wanna tell you how I feel, and how I've been feeling over the years.
I never really had an issue with my height in primary school. I mean after all, that was the period when everyone was probably around my height. Lol.
However, it all started to hit me when I got into Secondary school.
Over the years, I've always been hoping that I'll grow an inch or two, but I felt like I never did since sec 3, when I was 15. Sobs :(
There was once, that year... A guy actually ditched me for my height. It sounds really shallow, now that I reminisce and have that whole situation running through my mind again, but back then that wasn't how I see it.
What a poignant reminder of how superficial people are these days...
I was, undeniably devastated, and I also felt really lousy about myself. It took me some time to get over it, but it wasn't long before it started to affect me all over again.
Last year was the year where I started hiding in my shell, because of all the nasty remarks I had to face online. Besides dwelling on an insult for the entire day, it had such a big impact on me that there was one point of time where I just wanted to isolate myself from everyone.
I felt really self conscious about my body, especially my height.
It was bothering me so bad that I just didn't want to put on flats despite wherever I was going to.
Also, I hated how everyone treats me like a 3 year old just because of how petite I was. How people think it's fine to continue teasing me, just because I kept mum each time they did.
Compared to all my friends in the Blogsphere, I always felt really tiny. Not just physically, but my visibility as well. I felt pathetic.
Most of them are models, and even if they aren't exactly supermodel-kinda-tall, they are usually slim enough to compensate for their height.
I've turned down a handful of photoshoot opportunities because I was always afraid someone might compare me to some other model that's way taller.
And that's probably one of the worst feeling ever, because I really love modelling.
There was once I even resorted to starving myself because I thought that, "Hmm, maybe if I'm skinny, I won't look like a stubby teapot."
It hurts even though I act like I'm cool with it. I'm strong enough to put up a fake smile, but weak enough to be breaking down inside.
And it certainly doesn't feel good when people much younger than you, are way taller than you. Or when you're already in a pair of 5-inch heels, but you're still way shorter than anyone around you.
My height has always been a hinderance to me in many ways. It has never failed to bring down my self esteem despite the number of people telling me it's fine.
I may have a million things about myself that I'm unsatisfied with, but if there's one thing I could change, it'd definitely be my height.
Well, but that's not the point of this post anyway. The main purpose of sharing with you guys this is solely to bring a message across - As cliche as it sounds, everyone's flawed and nobody's perfect. It might be a cheesy, old phrase, but it is the truth.
And the good news is, this has all become a part of the past now, I've learnt to accept myself for who I am, and even if I think about it once in awhile, it's no longer something that I'd spend hours dwelling on anymore.
Well, I've met so many people who goes like "Wow, you're really short in real life," it comes to a point where I just can't be bothered anymore.
If I can't change the way I am, why not change the way I think? Right?
I can't do anything about my height, and as much as I love looking at pretty heels and feeling taller sometimes, I still love being in sneakers, because nothing feels better than being yourself.
In fact, I often feel encouraged by friends around me who constantly remind me of how I'm "beautiful" just the way I am, and that's definitely how any girl or anyone should feel.
All I have to say now is... I'm pretty comfortable with my own height, and if you aren't? Too bad!
How do you overcome your insecurity(s) based?
I suppose the first, and most essential step to overcoming an insecurity is to acknowledge the existence of it and embrace it.
Instead of finding all sorts of methods to hide this flaw, why not just be proud to be imperfect?
I know it's easier said than done, but I guess it's always a good thing to make the first move, and to prevail on. It might be difficult, but nothing good comes easy right?
What's the cons of showing your flaw? Being mocked?
Well, if you look at it from another angle, chances are, people would probably stop being a prick if you actually show them that you're aware of this flaw, and can't be bothered with it instead of hiding it deliberately.
People will eventually lose the thrill of making fun of you, if you don't respond to them.
In other words? Learn how to joke with your insecurities, that way... You have the upper-hand!
Next, you need to accept that everyone has their own flaws, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Look around you. You might be captivated by someone's beauty and wishing you had those looks too, but has it ever come across to you that someone else might be envious of something else that you have?
At the end of the day, we all know that physical appearance is what captures one's attention first, but a good personality is what makes a person stay.
Haha, you get my drift.
Lastly, it's always important to have a positive mindset towards everything. If you feel that something's making you unhappy, why not do something else to make you feel happy? That plays a part in helping to boost your self confidence as well; doing something well.
Personally, picking up DJ-ing at SOM, dancing, and longboarding are ways to help me feel good about myself.
So why not find some time and pick up something you like doing, and perhaps discover a strength of yours that you might have never noticed?
It's never a waste of time to do something you love. After all, you get to learn something new through the process of it.
Let me help you.
If you feel lost with no directions at this moment; no idea what you should do, nor what you like doing... No worries! Let me help you.
So I've recently found out about this really interesting page (click here) that allows you to create your personal avatar!
I guess it's pretty true, and rather accurate.
Best part? It makes me feel good about myself after taking the test. Try it out too!
Complete the scale and remember to take all 4 tests, otherwise your avatar would be incomplete!
How will you be rewarded? You might be one of the FIFTEEN people I'd be looking for, to attend a free Girls Style Dance with me at SOM. ;)
Simply create your own avatar (like what I did above), and share them with me and five other friends of yours on your Instagram or Facebook. Remember to tag me, hashtag #LIVEITUP and leave your contact details for me! I'll be picking FIFTEEN winners by 30 Oct so good luck!!!
I know not everyone would be able to relate and use the advices I've shared, however I still sincerely wish that I managed to help at least a few of you out there!
Just like to remind you that you're not alone, and I'm with you. Not physically, but virtually hahaha. :p
Also, I've actually worked with Xavier on a video few months back, and it's finally out!
It pretty much sums up everything I've said here in this post, and I'm sure you'd enjoy it, so do check it out (here)!
Here are some BTS as well
Alright, will be back for more soon! ;)
Labels: Campaigns/Engagements, Event Coverage, HPB, Insecurities, Rants, School Of Music Singapore, Teenagers, Tips N Guides, Views
ABOUT ME
Hey there! I share about anything and everything here. You can choose to leave, but I think you should get to know me a little more before you pass your judgement. Check out my FAQ section if it helps.
Who are you?
I'm Naomi, better known as Naomi Neo, and I'm born on the 25th of January 1996. I don't have any siblings, but I'm grateful to have the best parents in the world, who love me unconditionally, and a best friend Trixy who's been there for me for the past 5 years. Currently titled as the youngest "Celebrity Blogger" under my management, Gushcloud - With approximately 124k likes & followers on my Facebook profile and page, 80k followers on twitter and 116k on Instagram currently.
What are you known for?
Honestly, I've no idea what am I known for in majority's eyes, but here's what I presume and hope to be recognised for - I've been writing on all my social platforms since 2009, and got kind of known from writing my thoughts and views on Facebook. My first blog post that went viral was an entry dedicated to my good friend back then, titled "Mothers," in late 2010. Noticing the positive results, I decided to take blogging a little more seriously in 2011. Since then, I've been told that my posts were relatable and inspiring to many, which hence, got me to where I am today.
How well to do is your family? You seem rather spoilt.
I think I'm just average and if you think I'm wealthy rich and spoilt, you're so wrong. I mean yes, my parents do pamper me cos I'm the only child, but I've never taken their money since 2013. And I pay for all my clothes, accessories, make up and 90% of my daily necessities from the money I earn.
What are your stats?
I'm a UK 4 or 6, I've been stuck between 38kg - 40kg. Since I've never really talked about my height, you can deduce I'm exceptionally short and I'm not proud of it - So if you know it, good for you. If you don't, too bad I'm not revealing it. :p
Are you single?
Yes I am. My last relationship was in 2013, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
Do you photoshop your pictures?
No, I don't. Cos I honestly have no idea how to use that crazily complexed software. Ok, it's not very complicated I suppose. I'm just god damn lazy. I only use it to design my texts etc. However, I've been using PicMonkey to edit my pictures. Yeah I know, the main question's still back to whether I "beautify" myself or not. Er, I've no idea what's up with people constantly harping on this issue. The last time I claimed that I don't, was probably in 2012 (which I really didn't back then) But along the way, I figured it was necessary to "upgrade" myself and learn how to. If I can't do plastic surgery, at least make my pictures look chio what. If you know how to, question is, WHY NOT? And, don't you guys wanna see nice pictures too?!?! However I'd like to emphasise that - I do not beautify myself in all my pictures. I only do so when I feel the need to. And 3/4 of the time, I only make adjustments to my gigantic, elephant legs WHICH I admit, I'm very insecure about. So don't tell me my legs are damn nice la, cos some pictures are deceiving. Anyway, I've tons of videos everywhere... Judge for yourself?
Did you have any plastic surgery done?
No I didn't. Firstly, I could not afford to. Secondly, even if I do have the money, my parents are definitely not open to the idea. Thirdly, if I have the money and my parents' consent... OH PLEASE, I would have made myself look a zillion times better than how I am now. So some of you may ask, why is it that I have parallel eyelids. I've mentioned this before, but since some of you are too lazy to find out the truth - Fyi, I am born with double eyelids to begin with, I just wanted to have parallel instead of tapered eyelids. And in case you're really sensitive about it, I'm not saying tapered's not nice... It's just personal preference. In case you don't know what I'm talking about...
So yeah, I tried using eyelid tapes for about 6 months in 2011, and miraculously, have permanent parallel lids since then. I think I'm really lucky. Why do I say so? Cos it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Are you insecure about your looks?
Yes I am, to a certain extent. I believe you would too, if you have a hundred people reminding you about your flaws every single day. But the thing is, I love myself. So I've accepted that's it's fine not to be perfect.
Do you think you're attention seeking?
Most ridiculous question ever. My question to you is, are you not? This is probably my millionth time saying this, but I think everyone seeks for attention. The only thing that differentiates each of us would be the miles we would travel for it. From a level of - I want attention to Kim Kardashian, it's just a matter of fact how much you want it. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with it unless you're doing something despicable, and harming someone to your own benefits. Besides, no matter how much I love it - It may sound ironic, but I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when it's for something I worked hard to gain. If you know me well enough, I'm not the kind who would go nude just to get myself to where I want. (Just an example)
How do you deal with your haters?
I've been receiving nasty comments since the day I had a blog, in 2007. I've seen the worst, and it came to a point where it amuses me, because I actually get to find out things I didn't know about myself. I used to care so much, I would cry myself to bed on most nights and I even had issues stepping out of my house at a period of time. However, it took me years to realise how stupid it is to reciprocate to what people who don't me have to say, especially stories/rumours they fabricate. I'm fine with constructive criticisms because I've learnt to take it the positive way - Helping me to improve and get better. Of course it still pisses me off at times when I see untrue stuff about me circulated around by my haters, and I'd either ignore it (if it's nothing too serious) or address it, in other words, stand up for myself (if I find a need to.) And when I ignore it, I don't look at it in a way where I'm a coward or I admit to it - I just find it a waste of time to acknowledge the existence of these people, when most of them are just dying to get my response from their juvenile remarks. Yet when I retaliate, (which I rarely do these days) I only do so when something's getting out of hand. Like if it's tarnishing my reputation or sort. After all, I'm a girl. And I wouldn't "just ignore it" if it affects my name. If I don't stand up for myself, who would? Then again, I don't think that means I care about my haters - I just care about myself enough to want to shut your mouth. Besides, I can stop 1, 2 or 3 people from talking about me, but how many times can I do so? Fact is, you can't please everyone. So it's either you focus on what you have, or waste your life by dwelling on what you don't. And for those friends who decided to leave and hate me for what others have to say? Here's a big... THANK YOU. Haha, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realised who my real friends were.
Do you think you deserve what you have now?
Honestly, I've always felt that I don't in a way, cos of how affected I used to be about what people have to say - "There are better looking people out there," "You are not good enough!" etc. However, I've came to a realisation that it's impossible to be the best. Cos there will always be someone better, no matter how good you think you are. And as long as I think I've done my best, I don't see why I don't deserve to be where I am today. I've worked so hard for the things I have, and it's not like everything I have is an overnight success. So too bad if you beg to differ and think that a) I'm only here due to my looks, which I think is completely senseless, cos if it was just about my looks, I wouldn't have been around after so long - Taking into consideration, the ever-rising number of good-looking people there are today. b) it's bcos of what I write, cos I definitely won't claim to be the best writer. Somehow it's still a mystery to me why people still read my blog until today. c) and it's probably cos you don't know me well enough. I definitely agree that someone out there deserves this so much more than I do, but I guess it's true that life's unfair, and I'm sorry I have no control over it.
Fan mails, personal questions, or need an advice?
Contact me at asknaomineo@gmail.com
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