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Peer Pressure
So how many of us actually allow our peers to have an impact on us?
“Peer pressure - To put it bluntly, it's bullsh*t. Yeah, people can make things available to you, or tell you how awesome something is, but in the end, it’s not peer pressure, it’s your choice.”
Today I'm gonna share with you guys the negative effects of peer pressure and how you're suppose to overcome or deal with them.
Before I start, bear these few things in mind:
• No one can force you to do something you don't want to do; It's just how much you allow yourself to be influenced.
• There's no one in the world you should try to impress before you learn how to love yourself for who you are.
• You don't have to do something out of your comfort zone just because everyone else is doing so.
• Stand up for yourself by learning how to say NO.
Stop talking to people you don't feel like talking to.
Stop buying things you can never afford.
Stop doing something you hate doing.
Stop allowing someone to control your life.
Stop trying to be someone you're not.
Here are some real-life scenarios that my friends, or myself encountered before..
a) I was afraid that they might think I am a loser.
Smoking, taking drugs, getting into fights - Basically to sum it up, many people tend to do things nowadays because they feel like if they don't, no one will include them.
Example: Guy X 15 yr-old was hanging out with a bunch of older friends that drink and smoke etc; Everyone around him was teasing him about how young he was. This made him feel sore. To prove them wrong, he thought that if he did something "courageous" they might probably have a different view towards him. He joined in.
Consequences? Addiction or even getting charged for his illegal act.
b) I feel out of their league.
I guess this is the most common situation. It's like you start changing yourself just to fit in.
Example: Your friends hate this person who has never offended you in any way before, but you felt like you were obliged to do so too otherwise they'll turn their backs against you. Hence, you got yourself influenced and started to hate on this person too.
c) I wanna look good.
I don't know since when did this started, but I realize the number of people who are starting to feel really cautious about their appearance are escalating dramatically. I've nothing against it, I do too. But sometimes they take it too far and end up doing really silly things against their will.
Example: I think skinny looks good." I have no idea why are so many people suffering from the "Binge-purge syndrome" (Bulimia) and Anorexia nowadays.
***I'm not talking about those people who are born naturally thin. I do know of people who eat like an elephant but could just never ever gain any/much weight.
I'm talking about those people who are obsessed about being skinny because they think they are "Fat" or they are just really self conscious about their size even though they are perfectly fine.***
I won't deny I am, occasionally. I do feel like I've gained weight from too much intake of McDonalds and Pizza, and I feel the need to tone up and slim down. But I don't mean go all like "I think I need to stop eating" when you're like...
I love food. And I think people who stop eating are silly. Of course I'm not saying that you've to take 10 McSpicies everyday. I'm just saying...
You think this is pretty?
Stop trying to be perfect because no one can ever be!!!
If you wanna slim down, by all means go ahead! But do it the healthy way and not by starving and purging.
Love yourself for who you are and most importantly, stay healthy!!! Aspire to be fit not a pack of bones.
Definitely, I know most of us felt this way before...
But firstly, question is even if you feel good about being part of this clique... Have you lost yourself? Have you changed into a completely different person, going against your own principals just so you could fit in? Are you genuinely happy about this change?
Secondly as cliche as it sounds, if those friends that you're hanging out with are really your true friends, why would they make you change? Unless if it's for the better, of course. They should be accepting you for who you are instead of forcing you to turn into a completely different person.
Thirdly, you should never feel like you have to please everyone just to make them like you. I've been there, done that and I learned that I should find friends who will like me for me and not who I was trying to be.
Pretending is tough and it makes you unhappy. So why pretend? Unless you're some stubborn dickhead who causes trouble and refuses to take in any good advices from people who care about you and want the better of you, I don't see why you should ever change yourself.
Thereafter, I will always get people asking me this "But what if I can never find a friend?"
My answer is, you will. One day, you'll find someone who will accept you for who you are if you learn how to love yourself. True friends come and never go.
Anyway, here are some tips on how you could handle situations above:
(You can always reject offers nicely btw, I believe no one will hate you for that. Even if they get mad, they'll get over it.)
Stand up for yourself
• Explain your reason(s).
• Suggest doing something else instead.
• Ask them to consider you position when they try to influence you.
• Stay away from friends who have a negative influence on you.
• Communicate effectively, you will have fewer misunderstandings as good communication strengthens friendships.
• During conflicts, rephrase what your friends say in your own words to assure them that you have been listening to them.
• Give feedback in a calm and gentle tone to avoid sounding confrontational.
• Use “I” and “Us” more than “You” when stating your opinions.
• Using “You” often may be interpreted as critic
Interested to find out more about this topic? Then I think you should totally check out the new CLICK web episodes on facebook.com/breathe.sg every Tuesdays and Friday, 6pm!
So basically the web episodes are about a bunch of ordinary teens who are going through what we normally have to face. It really makes me look forward to watch them because I find them so relatable or rather true. They may not be the things I've encountered before but at least I have friends who did. Sometimes, it's hard to know what you're doing and whether they are right or wrong when you're in the situation yourself, but when you see it from a third person's pov, you could probably then see things from a clearer and bigger image.
Whether your experiences are good or bad, use them to improve yourself and not against you. When you make mistakes, learn from them, move on and don't repeat them.
For more resources, visit the newly revamped Breathe.sg
And like any other ordinary teen, I do face problems trying to deal with my peers as well. I've a lot of fears and things that I do just to make sure that I don't feel excluded. Stay tuned for my upcoming video on how you could build your self esteem!
Do hope that what I shared today might be useful to some of you! :)
Labels: Advertorials, Campaigns/Engagements, Event Coverage, Rants, Teenagers, Tips N Guides, Views
Peer Pressure
Friday, February 8, 2013 | 12:16 AM | 3comments
So how many of us actually allow our peers to have an impact on us?
“Peer pressure - To put it bluntly, it's bullsh*t. Yeah, people can make things available to you, or tell you how awesome something is, but in the end, it’s not peer pressure, it’s your choice.”
Today I'm gonna share with you guys the negative effects of peer pressure and how you're suppose to overcome or deal with them.
Before I start, bear these few things in mind:
• No one can force you to do something you don't want to do; It's just how much you allow yourself to be influenced.
• There's no one in the world you should try to impress before you learn how to love yourself for who you are.
• You don't have to do something out of your comfort zone just because everyone else is doing so.
• Stand up for yourself by learning how to say NO.
Stop talking to people you don't feel like talking to.
Stop buying things you can never afford.
Stop doing something you hate doing.
Stop allowing someone to control your life.
Stop trying to be someone you're not.
Here are some real-life scenarios that my friends, or myself encountered before..
a) I was afraid that they might think I am a loser.
Smoking, taking drugs, getting into fights - Basically to sum it up, many people tend to do things nowadays because they feel like if they don't, no one will include them.
Example: Guy X 15 yr-old was hanging out with a bunch of older friends that drink and smoke etc; Everyone around him was teasing him about how young he was. This made him feel sore. To prove them wrong, he thought that if he did something "courageous" they might probably have a different view towards him. He joined in.
Consequences? Addiction or even getting charged for his illegal act.
b) I feel out of their league.
I guess this is the most common situation. It's like you start changing yourself just to fit in.
Example: Your friends hate this person who has never offended you in any way before, but you felt like you were obliged to do so too otherwise they'll turn their backs against you. Hence, you got yourself influenced and started to hate on this person too.
c) I wanna look good.
I don't know since when did this started, but I realize the number of people who are starting to feel really cautious about their appearance are escalating dramatically. I've nothing against it, I do too. But sometimes they take it too far and end up doing really silly things against their will.
Example: I think skinny looks good." I have no idea why are so many people suffering from the "Binge-purge syndrome" (Bulimia) and Anorexia nowadays.
***I'm not talking about those people who are born naturally thin. I do know of people who eat like an elephant but could just never ever gain any/much weight.
I'm talking about those people who are obsessed about being skinny because they think they are "Fat" or they are just really self conscious about their size even though they are perfectly fine.***
I won't deny I am, occasionally. I do feel like I've gained weight from too much intake of McDonalds and Pizza, and I feel the need to tone up and slim down. But I don't mean go all like "I think I need to stop eating" when you're like...
I love food. And I think people who stop eating are silly. Of course I'm not saying that you've to take 10 McSpicies everyday. I'm just saying...
You think this is pretty?
Stop trying to be perfect because no one can ever be!!!
If you wanna slim down, by all means go ahead! But do it the healthy way and not by starving and purging.
Love yourself for who you are and most importantly, stay healthy!!! Aspire to be fit not a pack of bones.
Definitely, I know most of us felt this way before...
But firstly, question is even if you feel good about being part of this clique... Have you lost yourself? Have you changed into a completely different person, going against your own principals just so you could fit in? Are you genuinely happy about this change?
Secondly as cliche as it sounds, if those friends that you're hanging out with are really your true friends, why would they make you change? Unless if it's for the better, of course. They should be accepting you for who you are instead of forcing you to turn into a completely different person.
Thirdly, you should never feel like you have to please everyone just to make them like you. I've been there, done that and I learned that I should find friends who will like me for me and not who I was trying to be.
Pretending is tough and it makes you unhappy. So why pretend? Unless you're some stubborn dickhead who causes trouble and refuses to take in any good advices from people who care about you and want the better of you, I don't see why you should ever change yourself.
Thereafter, I will always get people asking me this "But what if I can never find a friend?"
My answer is, you will. One day, you'll find someone who will accept you for who you are if you learn how to love yourself. True friends come and never go.
Anyway, here are some tips on how you could handle situations above:
(You can always reject offers nicely btw, I believe no one will hate you for that. Even if they get mad, they'll get over it.)
Stand up for yourself
• Explain your reason(s).
• Suggest doing something else instead.
• Ask them to consider you position when they try to influence you.
• Stay away from friends who have a negative influence on you.
• Communicate effectively, you will have fewer misunderstandings as good communication strengthens friendships.
• During conflicts, rephrase what your friends say in your own words to assure them that you have been listening to them.
• Give feedback in a calm and gentle tone to avoid sounding confrontational.
• Use “I” and “Us” more than “You” when stating your opinions.
• Using “You” often may be interpreted as critic
Interested to find out more about this topic? Then I think you should totally check out the new CLICK web episodes on facebook.com/breathe.sg every Tuesdays and Friday, 6pm!
So basically the web episodes are about a bunch of ordinary teens who are going through what we normally have to face. It really makes me look forward to watch them because I find them so relatable or rather true. They may not be the things I've encountered before but at least I have friends who did. Sometimes, it's hard to know what you're doing and whether they are right or wrong when you're in the situation yourself, but when you see it from a third person's pov, you could probably then see things from a clearer and bigger image.
Whether your experiences are good or bad, use them to improve yourself and not against you. When you make mistakes, learn from them, move on and don't repeat them.
For more resources, visit the newly revamped Breathe.sg
And like any other ordinary teen, I do face problems trying to deal with my peers as well. I've a lot of fears and things that I do just to make sure that I don't feel excluded. Stay tuned for my upcoming video on how you could build your self esteem!
Do hope that what I shared today might be useful to some of you! :)
Labels: Advertorials, Campaigns/Engagements, Event Coverage, Rants, Teenagers, Tips N Guides, Views
ABOUT ME
Hey there! I share about anything and everything here. You can choose to leave, but I think you should get to know me a little more before you pass your judgement. Check out my FAQ section if it helps.
Who are you?
I'm Naomi, better known as Naomi Neo, and I'm born on the 25th of January 1996. I don't have any siblings, but I'm grateful to have the best parents in the world, who love me unconditionally, and a best friend Trixy who's been there for me for the past 5 years. Currently titled as the youngest "Celebrity Blogger" under my management, Gushcloud - With approximately 124k likes & followers on my Facebook profile and page, 80k followers on twitter and 116k on Instagram currently.
What are you known for?
Honestly, I've no idea what am I known for in majority's eyes, but here's what I presume and hope to be recognised for - I've been writing on all my social platforms since 2009, and got kind of known from writing my thoughts and views on Facebook. My first blog post that went viral was an entry dedicated to my good friend back then, titled "Mothers," in late 2010. Noticing the positive results, I decided to take blogging a little more seriously in 2011. Since then, I've been told that my posts were relatable and inspiring to many, which hence, got me to where I am today.
How well to do is your family? You seem rather spoilt.
I think I'm just average and if you think I'm wealthy rich and spoilt, you're so wrong. I mean yes, my parents do pamper me cos I'm the only child, but I've never taken their money since 2013. And I pay for all my clothes, accessories, make up and 90% of my daily necessities from the money I earn.
What are your stats?
I'm a UK 4 or 6, I've been stuck between 38kg - 40kg. Since I've never really talked about my height, you can deduce I'm exceptionally short and I'm not proud of it - So if you know it, good for you. If you don't, too bad I'm not revealing it. :p
Are you single?
Yes I am. My last relationship was in 2013, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
Do you photoshop your pictures?
No, I don't. Cos I honestly have no idea how to use that crazily complexed software. Ok, it's not very complicated I suppose. I'm just god damn lazy. I only use it to design my texts etc. However, I've been using PicMonkey to edit my pictures. Yeah I know, the main question's still back to whether I "beautify" myself or not. Er, I've no idea what's up with people constantly harping on this issue. The last time I claimed that I don't, was probably in 2012 (which I really didn't back then) But along the way, I figured it was necessary to "upgrade" myself and learn how to. If I can't do plastic surgery, at least make my pictures look chio what. If you know how to, question is, WHY NOT? And, don't you guys wanna see nice pictures too?!?! However I'd like to emphasise that - I do not beautify myself in all my pictures. I only do so when I feel the need to. And 3/4 of the time, I only make adjustments to my gigantic, elephant legs WHICH I admit, I'm very insecure about. So don't tell me my legs are damn nice la, cos some pictures are deceiving. Anyway, I've tons of videos everywhere... Judge for yourself?
Did you have any plastic surgery done?
No I didn't. Firstly, I could not afford to. Secondly, even if I do have the money, my parents are definitely not open to the idea. Thirdly, if I have the money and my parents' consent... OH PLEASE, I would have made myself look a zillion times better than how I am now. So some of you may ask, why is it that I have parallel eyelids. I've mentioned this before, but since some of you are too lazy to find out the truth - Fyi, I am born with double eyelids to begin with, I just wanted to have parallel instead of tapered eyelids. And in case you're really sensitive about it, I'm not saying tapered's not nice... It's just personal preference. In case you don't know what I'm talking about...
So yeah, I tried using eyelid tapes for about 6 months in 2011, and miraculously, have permanent parallel lids since then. I think I'm really lucky. Why do I say so? Cos it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Are you insecure about your looks?
Yes I am, to a certain extent. I believe you would too, if you have a hundred people reminding you about your flaws every single day. But the thing is, I love myself. So I've accepted that's it's fine not to be perfect.
Do you think you're attention seeking?
Most ridiculous question ever. My question to you is, are you not? This is probably my millionth time saying this, but I think everyone seeks for attention. The only thing that differentiates each of us would be the miles we would travel for it. From a level of - I want attention to Kim Kardashian, it's just a matter of fact how much you want it. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with it unless you're doing something despicable, and harming someone to your own benefits. Besides, no matter how much I love it - It may sound ironic, but I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when it's for something I worked hard to gain. If you know me well enough, I'm not the kind who would go nude just to get myself to where I want. (Just an example)
How do you deal with your haters?
I've been receiving nasty comments since the day I had a blog, in 2007. I've seen the worst, and it came to a point where it amuses me, because I actually get to find out things I didn't know about myself. I used to care so much, I would cry myself to bed on most nights and I even had issues stepping out of my house at a period of time. However, it took me years to realise how stupid it is to reciprocate to what people who don't me have to say, especially stories/rumours they fabricate. I'm fine with constructive criticisms because I've learnt to take it the positive way - Helping me to improve and get better. Of course it still pisses me off at times when I see untrue stuff about me circulated around by my haters, and I'd either ignore it (if it's nothing too serious) or address it, in other words, stand up for myself (if I find a need to.) And when I ignore it, I don't look at it in a way where I'm a coward or I admit to it - I just find it a waste of time to acknowledge the existence of these people, when most of them are just dying to get my response from their juvenile remarks. Yet when I retaliate, (which I rarely do these days) I only do so when something's getting out of hand. Like if it's tarnishing my reputation or sort. After all, I'm a girl. And I wouldn't "just ignore it" if it affects my name. If I don't stand up for myself, who would? Then again, I don't think that means I care about my haters - I just care about myself enough to want to shut your mouth. Besides, I can stop 1, 2 or 3 people from talking about me, but how many times can I do so? Fact is, you can't please everyone. So it's either you focus on what you have, or waste your life by dwelling on what you don't. And for those friends who decided to leave and hate me for what others have to say? Here's a big... THANK YOU. Haha, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realised who my real friends were.
Do you think you deserve what you have now?
Honestly, I've always felt that I don't in a way, cos of how affected I used to be about what people have to say - "There are better looking people out there," "You are not good enough!" etc. However, I've came to a realisation that it's impossible to be the best. Cos there will always be someone better, no matter how good you think you are. And as long as I think I've done my best, I don't see why I don't deserve to be where I am today. I've worked so hard for the things I have, and it's not like everything I have is an overnight success. So too bad if you beg to differ and think that a) I'm only here due to my looks, which I think is completely senseless, cos if it was just about my looks, I wouldn't have been around after so long - Taking into consideration, the ever-rising number of good-looking people there are today. b) it's bcos of what I write, cos I definitely won't claim to be the best writer. Somehow it's still a mystery to me why people still read my blog until today. c) and it's probably cos you don't know me well enough. I definitely agree that someone out there deserves this so much more than I do, but I guess it's true that life's unfair, and I'm sorry I have no control over it.
Fan mails, personal questions, or need an advice?
Contact me at asknaomineo@gmail.com
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