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Ask Naomi #1 How To Know If You Are In Love
If you don't already know, I've set up a new email where you guys could send me your problems and questions to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM. Basically I will select one or more questions to reply anonymously on Thursdays.
Disclaimer - Not trying to say that I know it all or that I guarantee to give the best advices, but these opinions are just based on my personal experiences. And I sincerely hope I could help most of you by doing this.
Hence, please do not be offended if I were to say something that you don't feel the same towards. Everything I say here comes with no ill intentions. (I mean c'mon, I don't even know majority of these people who emailed me, personally.)
Without further ado, here's one question I chose to answer today.
Thank you so much for the support. It really melts my heart to know that there's actually someone out there who believes in me and supports me in the things I do.
Here's what I have to say with regard to your situation,
Firstly, I guess it was a good thing that the both of you weren't romantically involved in each other's lives, knowing that he was attached back then, cos it would've made things a lot messier.
Moving on, "I have this event and since his crew. was involved I texted him asking if he would be present. Instead of giving me an answer, he told me he just broke up with his girlfriend." From his rather "irrelevant" reply, I feel that he was definitely trying to hit on you. (Please note that this doesn't mean that he's serious about you.) I mean unless you guys have been conversing on a regular basis, that shouldn't be an "opening message" to someone. Informing you about his break up was a clear sign that he wanted you to know that he's single.
"Then we texted for a few days. Flirtatiously. I know this sounds...... 'cheap', he invited me to his home." Well, I wouldn't say you're cheap. After all, being young and inexperienced (as described from the earlier part of your email) it's inevitable to wanna explore and try things you haven't before. I guess by reciprocating to his request, it does seem that you show some interest in this guy as well.
"We only made out...... I don't know why but I felt really affected by this, I constantly this about him." Thinking of someone most of the time could just mean that they gave you something memorable to ponder on. Girls being girls, it's even more normal to be perpetually thinking, especially about a guy who made an impression in our lives. In your case, by giving you your first kiss.
"He hardly replies my text, this happens even before we made out..... He never starts the conversation and such." These two reasons alone are sufficient to prove that this guy is probably not that into you. With affection comes effort, if he doesn't feel the need to text you first (not even once).... Then as crude as this may sound, he doesn't need you in his life either.
All in all, it's human nature to feel attracted to the people we can't get or show us the least attention in most instances. The little sparks and butterflies in your tummy would sometimes get the better of you, leading you to think that you're in love when you're actually not. In other words, how you feel towards him now could possibly just be a moment of infatuation. Sometimes, we get carried away and our emotions get swayed by simple, yet temporary things. It's just like how we have crushes, but they may not necessarily be permanent. Today you're mesmerised by his charm, tomorrow you might fall head over heels for someone who's even better.
Often times, we conclude things way too fast before we could even settle down, compose ourselves and figure out how we really feel deep down.
I can't decide on your behalf whether or not you're "in love" with this guy, but I know such fuzzy feelings are hard to ignore. It's like an irresistible temptation that keeps you wanting more. My advice to you is that you should just cut him off entirely (don't even bother being friends, cause trust me, it's gonna confuse you further) Don't even bother wasting your time. Leave, and if he comes back you know he's true. However, don't ever wait in hope that he will come back for you. After all, as the old saying goes, expectations lead to disappointments.
The problem with most people is that they "give it a try" too many times before they finally realise it's not working out and by then; with more memories, attachment and feelings, it's gonna be a lot harder to leave. So leave while you could.
Since it's your first time, just take it easy! It's fine to "not have an ex" If your friends judge you for that, be like...
And don't ever find a guy who uses you as a substitute for his loss, if he could go right to you after his break up, you can't assure he won't do the same to you!
Anyway, all these are just how I feel and what I would do if I were you. You'd have to make the final call whether to stay on or not. After all, I don't know who he is and how he is like and I may be wrong.
Whatever it is,
But yeap! I hope you'd get to see this and I'd be glad if it helps. :)
Best of luck!
Send in your questions today to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM.
Labels: Advices, Asknaomi, BGR, Relationships, Teenagers, Views
Ask Naomi #1 How To Know If You Are In Love
Thursday, August 28, 2014 | 9:23 PM | 2comments
If you don't already know, I've set up a new email where you guys could send me your problems and questions to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM. Basically I will select one or more questions to reply anonymously on Thursdays.
Disclaimer - Not trying to say that I know it all or that I guarantee to give the best advices, but these opinions are just based on my personal experiences. And I sincerely hope I could help most of you by doing this.
Hence, please do not be offended if I were to say something that you don't feel the same towards. Everything I say here comes with no ill intentions. (I mean c'mon, I don't even know majority of these people who emailed me, personally.)
Without further ado, here's one question I chose to answer today.
Thank you so much for the support. It really melts my heart to know that there's actually someone out there who believes in me and supports me in the things I do.
Here's what I have to say with regard to your situation,
Firstly, I guess it was a good thing that the both of you weren't romantically involved in each other's lives, knowing that he was attached back then, cos it would've made things a lot messier.
Moving on, "I have this event and since his crew. was involved I texted him asking if he would be present. Instead of giving me an answer, he told me he just broke up with his girlfriend." From his rather "irrelevant" reply, I feel that he was definitely trying to hit on you. (Please note that this doesn't mean that he's serious about you.) I mean unless you guys have been conversing on a regular basis, that shouldn't be an "opening message" to someone. Informing you about his break up was a clear sign that he wanted you to know that he's single.
"Then we texted for a few days. Flirtatiously. I know this sounds...... 'cheap', he invited me to his home." Well, I wouldn't say you're cheap. After all, being young and inexperienced (as described from the earlier part of your email) it's inevitable to wanna explore and try things you haven't before. I guess by reciprocating to his request, it does seem that you show some interest in this guy as well.
"We only made out...... I don't know why but I felt really affected by this, I constantly this about him." Thinking of someone most of the time could just mean that they gave you something memorable to ponder on. Girls being girls, it's even more normal to be perpetually thinking, especially about a guy who made an impression in our lives. In your case, by giving you your first kiss.
"He hardly replies my text, this happens even before we made out..... He never starts the conversation and such." These two reasons alone are sufficient to prove that this guy is probably not that into you. With affection comes effort, if he doesn't feel the need to text you first (not even once).... Then as crude as this may sound, he doesn't need you in his life either.
All in all, it's human nature to feel attracted to the people we can't get or show us the least attention in most instances. The little sparks and butterflies in your tummy would sometimes get the better of you, leading you to think that you're in love when you're actually not. In other words, how you feel towards him now could possibly just be a moment of infatuation. Sometimes, we get carried away and our emotions get swayed by simple, yet temporary things. It's just like how we have crushes, but they may not necessarily be permanent. Today you're mesmerised by his charm, tomorrow you might fall head over heels for someone who's even better.
Often times, we conclude things way too fast before we could even settle down, compose ourselves and figure out how we really feel deep down.
I can't decide on your behalf whether or not you're "in love" with this guy, but I know such fuzzy feelings are hard to ignore. It's like an irresistible temptation that keeps you wanting more. My advice to you is that you should just cut him off entirely (don't even bother being friends, cause trust me, it's gonna confuse you further) Don't even bother wasting your time. Leave, and if he comes back you know he's true. However, don't ever wait in hope that he will come back for you. After all, as the old saying goes, expectations lead to disappointments.
The problem with most people is that they "give it a try" too many times before they finally realise it's not working out and by then; with more memories, attachment and feelings, it's gonna be a lot harder to leave. So leave while you could.
Since it's your first time, just take it easy! It's fine to "not have an ex" If your friends judge you for that, be like...
And don't ever find a guy who uses you as a substitute for his loss, if he could go right to you after his break up, you can't assure he won't do the same to you!
Anyway, all these are just how I feel and what I would do if I were you. You'd have to make the final call whether to stay on or not. After all, I don't know who he is and how he is like and I may be wrong.
Whatever it is,
But yeap! I hope you'd get to see this and I'd be glad if it helps. :)
Best of luck!
Send in your questions today to ASKNAOMINEO@GMAIL.COM.
Labels: Advices, Asknaomi, BGR, Relationships, Teenagers, Views
ABOUT ME
Hey there! I share about anything and everything here. You can choose to leave, but I think you should get to know me a little more before you pass your judgement. Check out my FAQ section if it helps.
Who are you?
I'm Naomi, better known as Naomi Neo, and I'm born on the 25th of January 1996. I don't have any siblings, but I'm grateful to have the best parents in the world, who love me unconditionally, and a best friend Trixy who's been there for me for the past 5 years. Currently titled as the youngest "Celebrity Blogger" under my management, Gushcloud - With approximately 124k likes & followers on my Facebook profile and page, 80k followers on twitter and 116k on Instagram currently.
What are you known for?
Honestly, I've no idea what am I known for in majority's eyes, but here's what I presume and hope to be recognised for - I've been writing on all my social platforms since 2009, and got kind of known from writing my thoughts and views on Facebook. My first blog post that went viral was an entry dedicated to my good friend back then, titled "Mothers," in late 2010. Noticing the positive results, I decided to take blogging a little more seriously in 2011. Since then, I've been told that my posts were relatable and inspiring to many, which hence, got me to where I am today.
How well to do is your family? You seem rather spoilt.
I think I'm just average and if you think I'm wealthy rich and spoilt, you're so wrong. I mean yes, my parents do pamper me cos I'm the only child, but I've never taken their money since 2013. And I pay for all my clothes, accessories, make up and 90% of my daily necessities from the money I earn.
What are your stats?
I'm a UK 4 or 6, I've been stuck between 38kg - 40kg. Since I've never really talked about my height, you can deduce I'm exceptionally short and I'm not proud of it - So if you know it, good for you. If you don't, too bad I'm not revealing it. :p
Are you single?
Yes I am. My last relationship was in 2013, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
Do you photoshop your pictures?
No, I don't. Cos I honestly have no idea how to use that crazily complexed software. Ok, it's not very complicated I suppose. I'm just god damn lazy. I only use it to design my texts etc. However, I've been using PicMonkey to edit my pictures. Yeah I know, the main question's still back to whether I "beautify" myself or not. Er, I've no idea what's up with people constantly harping on this issue. The last time I claimed that I don't, was probably in 2012 (which I really didn't back then) But along the way, I figured it was necessary to "upgrade" myself and learn how to. If I can't do plastic surgery, at least make my pictures look chio what. If you know how to, question is, WHY NOT? And, don't you guys wanna see nice pictures too?!?! However I'd like to emphasise that - I do not beautify myself in all my pictures. I only do so when I feel the need to. And 3/4 of the time, I only make adjustments to my gigantic, elephant legs WHICH I admit, I'm very insecure about. So don't tell me my legs are damn nice la, cos some pictures are deceiving. Anyway, I've tons of videos everywhere... Judge for yourself?
Did you have any plastic surgery done?
No I didn't. Firstly, I could not afford to. Secondly, even if I do have the money, my parents are definitely not open to the idea. Thirdly, if I have the money and my parents' consent... OH PLEASE, I would have made myself look a zillion times better than how I am now. So some of you may ask, why is it that I have parallel eyelids. I've mentioned this before, but since some of you are too lazy to find out the truth - Fyi, I am born with double eyelids to begin with, I just wanted to have parallel instead of tapered eyelids. And in case you're really sensitive about it, I'm not saying tapered's not nice... It's just personal preference. In case you don't know what I'm talking about...
So yeah, I tried using eyelid tapes for about 6 months in 2011, and miraculously, have permanent parallel lids since then. I think I'm really lucky. Why do I say so? Cos it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Are you insecure about your looks?
Yes I am, to a certain extent. I believe you would too, if you have a hundred people reminding you about your flaws every single day. But the thing is, I love myself. So I've accepted that's it's fine not to be perfect.
Do you think you're attention seeking?
Most ridiculous question ever. My question to you is, are you not? This is probably my millionth time saying this, but I think everyone seeks for attention. The only thing that differentiates each of us would be the miles we would travel for it. From a level of - I want attention to Kim Kardashian, it's just a matter of fact how much you want it. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with it unless you're doing something despicable, and harming someone to your own benefits. Besides, no matter how much I love it - It may sound ironic, but I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when it's for something I worked hard to gain. If you know me well enough, I'm not the kind who would go nude just to get myself to where I want. (Just an example)
How do you deal with your haters?
I've been receiving nasty comments since the day I had a blog, in 2007. I've seen the worst, and it came to a point where it amuses me, because I actually get to find out things I didn't know about myself. I used to care so much, I would cry myself to bed on most nights and I even had issues stepping out of my house at a period of time. However, it took me years to realise how stupid it is to reciprocate to what people who don't me have to say, especially stories/rumours they fabricate. I'm fine with constructive criticisms because I've learnt to take it the positive way - Helping me to improve and get better. Of course it still pisses me off at times when I see untrue stuff about me circulated around by my haters, and I'd either ignore it (if it's nothing too serious) or address it, in other words, stand up for myself (if I find a need to.) And when I ignore it, I don't look at it in a way where I'm a coward or I admit to it - I just find it a waste of time to acknowledge the existence of these people, when most of them are just dying to get my response from their juvenile remarks. Yet when I retaliate, (which I rarely do these days) I only do so when something's getting out of hand. Like if it's tarnishing my reputation or sort. After all, I'm a girl. And I wouldn't "just ignore it" if it affects my name. If I don't stand up for myself, who would? Then again, I don't think that means I care about my haters - I just care about myself enough to want to shut your mouth. Besides, I can stop 1, 2 or 3 people from talking about me, but how many times can I do so? Fact is, you can't please everyone. So it's either you focus on what you have, or waste your life by dwelling on what you don't. And for those friends who decided to leave and hate me for what others have to say? Here's a big... THANK YOU. Haha, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realised who my real friends were.
Do you think you deserve what you have now?
Honestly, I've always felt that I don't in a way, cos of how affected I used to be about what people have to say - "There are better looking people out there," "You are not good enough!" etc. However, I've came to a realisation that it's impossible to be the best. Cos there will always be someone better, no matter how good you think you are. And as long as I think I've done my best, I don't see why I don't deserve to be where I am today. I've worked so hard for the things I have, and it's not like everything I have is an overnight success. So too bad if you beg to differ and think that a) I'm only here due to my looks, which I think is completely senseless, cos if it was just about my looks, I wouldn't have been around after so long - Taking into consideration, the ever-rising number of good-looking people there are today. b) it's bcos of what I write, cos I definitely won't claim to be the best writer. Somehow it's still a mystery to me why people still read my blog until today. c) and it's probably cos you don't know me well enough. I definitely agree that someone out there deserves this so much more than I do, but I guess it's true that life's unfair, and I'm sorry I have no control over it.
Fan mails, personal questions, or need an advice?
Contact me at asknaomineo@gmail.com
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