|
Unappreciated.
Just wanna start off by apologizing - As you can see, the title explains it all. Today's post wouldn't be about my 6th day here in Sydney, simply because the internet at Magenta sucks. BIG TIME. The pictures will take forever to load, so I'll save it for another day.
As of now, I just wanna write my heart out tonight, perhaps to compensate for the lack of words over the past few posts.
.
.
.
I've been spending days and months pondering over this issue, and it bothers me so much I thought I'd like to share.
I really hate it. I hate how appreciative people seem to be almost extinct.
I've spent way more time in my life self-reflecting instead of listing the number of reasons I should hate someone for.
Whenever I get mad or upset at someone, the next thing I know, I'm questioning if I should be blamed for the things that have gone wrong.
Even when I get mad at people, I blame myself for not controlling my temper well enough.
Sometimes I ask myself if I'm asking too much from people, but then again... How much is one willing to do for someone who gives the whole world to them?
I admit, I can be a total scumbag when it comes to relationships. It appears to me that I've problems showing gratitude to my boyfriend/date's (when I had one) kindness.
Well, I wasn't this way previously until I got hurt so badly several times. I came to a realization that you can't be too nice to those guys who are trying to court you. Period.
I've gotten over the "sweet, romantic" me. (I mean, I wouldn't say it's entirely gone, I just haven't found someone who's able to tear those walls down yet.)
I used to be the kind who writes pages of letters, make handmade gifts and shit like that until it hit me so hard that people hardly appreciate it.
Yes, they certainly have a way of acting like they do... What's next? They just dump it aside and allow those gifts to be covered in dust.
When I started working and had the capability to spend, I started spending on people I love. THEN AGAIN, who on earth appreciates it?!
It's like showing a blind man your piece of artwork you've painstakingly drawn.
I know I tweeted this a couple of hours ago, but in case you missed that out...
When I say that no one appreciates it, I'm not trying to say that I expect something in return. Like I don't need these people to buy me a gift, send me a million "thank you" messages or sort.
I just wish that when people say they appreciate what you did for them, they mean it, they don't take you for granfuckingted.
It's not at all difficult to tell whether someone's sincere or not, because words that mean something will have an impact on you.
I've already blatantly confessed my wrongdoings when it comes to a few guys, but that being said, I still feel that being nice to your suitors is a completely different matter.
Firstly, your responses/reactions will potentially lead them on if you don't make things clear, being nice might easily give them the wrong impression.
Secondly, majority of us love the chase. Admit it. Hence, there's no reason to give in too quickly. Like they say, "A girl who's easy to get, wouldn't be amazing, and an amazing girl, wouldn't be easy to get." If you can't wait, you probably don't deserve her.
That's my pov when it comes to dates. So I don't see why a girl should be exceptionally nice to any guy who's going after her unless she has intentions of taking things to another level.
Anyway, that's not the point. I'm talking about friends and family.
I feel like no matter how much I do sometimes, it's never enough. It's like after doing so much for some people, and whenever you guys get into a fight... All they remember is that one bad thing you did, and they completely erase all the good things you've done for them.
I try so hard to please everyone that I care for, so much that I'm so sick of it now. I've been ranting about how tired I am, but I have never done anything to it. Cos like I've mentioned earlier on, I'll always end up putting the blame back on myself.
And I hate being mean to people, cos I know how it feels like to be treated nastily.
I don't think I'm a nice person, I just think I've a huge problem saying "NO" to people and being firm about my decisions.
That's why everyone around me is taking me for granted. They naturally assume that I'd say yes when they ask me for favours, and they make mindless remarks like "you've changed," when I refuse to help them.
As much as I hate being unkind, cos it seems churlish to reject my "friends" when they need help, HOW MANY OF THEM EVEN TREATED ME LIKE THEIR FRIEND?
You call me your friend when you're in need of something, and when you don't? I hardly ever hear from these people for months and years.
You said I've changed, but are you even that close to me in the first place, to know who I really am?
It's ridiculous.
I feel so trapped because I really have no idea what to do sometimes. It feels like being the good and bad guy makes me equally unhappy.
If there's one thing I'd like to change about us humans, it'd be to make us all a little more appreciative of the people who truly care for us.
We whine and complain that we've no one, but half the time we're just being selective of who we want to be cared by. There are people who really wish to be there, but we're just total douchebags to treat them like dirt.
I wish I could do something about this...
Labels: Rants, Teenagers, Views
Unappreciated.
Monday, November 25, 2013 | 8:36 PM | 0comments
Just wanna start off by apologizing - As you can see, the title explains it all. Today's post wouldn't be about my 6th day here in Sydney, simply because the internet at Magenta sucks. BIG TIME. The pictures will take forever to load, so I'll save it for another day.
As of now, I just wanna write my heart out tonight, perhaps to compensate for the lack of words over the past few posts.
.
.
.
I've been spending days and months pondering over this issue, and it bothers me so much I thought I'd like to share.
I really hate it. I hate how appreciative people seem to be almost extinct.
I've spent way more time in my life self-reflecting instead of listing the number of reasons I should hate someone for.
Whenever I get mad or upset at someone, the next thing I know, I'm questioning if I should be blamed for the things that have gone wrong.
Even when I get mad at people, I blame myself for not controlling my temper well enough.
Sometimes I ask myself if I'm asking too much from people, but then again... How much is one willing to do for someone who gives the whole world to them?
I admit, I can be a total scumbag when it comes to relationships. It appears to me that I've problems showing gratitude to my boyfriend/date's (when I had one) kindness.
Well, I wasn't this way previously until I got hurt so badly several times. I came to a realization that you can't be too nice to those guys who are trying to court you. Period.
I've gotten over the "sweet, romantic" me. (I mean, I wouldn't say it's entirely gone, I just haven't found someone who's able to tear those walls down yet.)
I used to be the kind who writes pages of letters, make handmade gifts and shit like that until it hit me so hard that people hardly appreciate it.
Yes, they certainly have a way of acting like they do... What's next? They just dump it aside and allow those gifts to be covered in dust.
When I started working and had the capability to spend, I started spending on people I love. THEN AGAIN, who on earth appreciates it?!
It's like showing a blind man your piece of artwork you've painstakingly drawn.
I know I tweeted this a couple of hours ago, but in case you missed that out...
When I say that no one appreciates it, I'm not trying to say that I expect something in return. Like I don't need these people to buy me a gift, send me a million "thank you" messages or sort.
I just wish that when people say they appreciate what you did for them, they mean it, they don't take you for granfuckingted.
It's not at all difficult to tell whether someone's sincere or not, because words that mean something will have an impact on you.
I've already blatantly confessed my wrongdoings when it comes to a few guys, but that being said, I still feel that being nice to your suitors is a completely different matter.
Firstly, your responses/reactions will potentially lead them on if you don't make things clear, being nice might easily give them the wrong impression.
Secondly, majority of us love the chase. Admit it. Hence, there's no reason to give in too quickly. Like they say, "A girl who's easy to get, wouldn't be amazing, and an amazing girl, wouldn't be easy to get." If you can't wait, you probably don't deserve her.
That's my pov when it comes to dates. So I don't see why a girl should be exceptionally nice to any guy who's going after her unless she has intentions of taking things to another level.
Anyway, that's not the point. I'm talking about friends and family.
I feel like no matter how much I do sometimes, it's never enough. It's like after doing so much for some people, and whenever you guys get into a fight... All they remember is that one bad thing you did, and they completely erase all the good things you've done for them.
I try so hard to please everyone that I care for, so much that I'm so sick of it now. I've been ranting about how tired I am, but I have never done anything to it. Cos like I've mentioned earlier on, I'll always end up putting the blame back on myself.
And I hate being mean to people, cos I know how it feels like to be treated nastily.
I don't think I'm a nice person, I just think I've a huge problem saying "NO" to people and being firm about my decisions.
That's why everyone around me is taking me for granted. They naturally assume that I'd say yes when they ask me for favours, and they make mindless remarks like "you've changed," when I refuse to help them.
As much as I hate being unkind, cos it seems churlish to reject my "friends" when they need help, HOW MANY OF THEM EVEN TREATED ME LIKE THEIR FRIEND?
You call me your friend when you're in need of something, and when you don't? I hardly ever hear from these people for months and years.
You said I've changed, but are you even that close to me in the first place, to know who I really am?
It's ridiculous.
I feel so trapped because I really have no idea what to do sometimes. It feels like being the good and bad guy makes me equally unhappy.
If there's one thing I'd like to change about us humans, it'd be to make us all a little more appreciative of the people who truly care for us.
We whine and complain that we've no one, but half the time we're just being selective of who we want to be cared by. There are people who really wish to be there, but we're just total douchebags to treat them like dirt.
I wish I could do something about this...
Labels: Rants, Teenagers, Views
ABOUT ME
Hey there! I share about anything and everything here. You can choose to leave, but I think you should get to know me a little more before you pass your judgement. Check out my FAQ section if it helps.
Who are you?
I'm Naomi, better known as Naomi Neo, and I'm born on the 25th of January 1996. I don't have any siblings, but I'm grateful to have the best parents in the world, who love me unconditionally, and a best friend Trixy who's been there for me for the past 5 years. Currently titled as the youngest "Celebrity Blogger" under my management, Gushcloud - With approximately 124k likes & followers on my Facebook profile and page, 80k followers on twitter and 116k on Instagram currently.
What are you known for?
Honestly, I've no idea what am I known for in majority's eyes, but here's what I presume and hope to be recognised for - I've been writing on all my social platforms since 2009, and got kind of known from writing my thoughts and views on Facebook. My first blog post that went viral was an entry dedicated to my good friend back then, titled "Mothers," in late 2010. Noticing the positive results, I decided to take blogging a little more seriously in 2011. Since then, I've been told that my posts were relatable and inspiring to many, which hence, got me to where I am today.
How well to do is your family? You seem rather spoilt.
I think I'm just average and if you think I'm wealthy rich and spoilt, you're so wrong. I mean yes, my parents do pamper me cos I'm the only child, but I've never taken their money since 2013. And I pay for all my clothes, accessories, make up and 90% of my daily necessities from the money I earn.
What are your stats?
I'm a UK 4 or 6, I've been stuck between 38kg - 40kg. Since I've never really talked about my height, you can deduce I'm exceptionally short and I'm not proud of it - So if you know it, good for you. If you don't, too bad I'm not revealing it. :p
Are you single?
Yes I am. My last relationship was in 2013, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
Do you photoshop your pictures?
No, I don't. Cos I honestly have no idea how to use that crazily complexed software. Ok, it's not very complicated I suppose. I'm just god damn lazy. I only use it to design my texts etc. However, I've been using PicMonkey to edit my pictures. Yeah I know, the main question's still back to whether I "beautify" myself or not. Er, I've no idea what's up with people constantly harping on this issue. The last time I claimed that I don't, was probably in 2012 (which I really didn't back then) But along the way, I figured it was necessary to "upgrade" myself and learn how to. If I can't do plastic surgery, at least make my pictures look chio what. If you know how to, question is, WHY NOT? And, don't you guys wanna see nice pictures too?!?! However I'd like to emphasise that - I do not beautify myself in all my pictures. I only do so when I feel the need to. And 3/4 of the time, I only make adjustments to my gigantic, elephant legs WHICH I admit, I'm very insecure about. So don't tell me my legs are damn nice la, cos some pictures are deceiving. Anyway, I've tons of videos everywhere... Judge for yourself?
Did you have any plastic surgery done?
No I didn't. Firstly, I could not afford to. Secondly, even if I do have the money, my parents are definitely not open to the idea. Thirdly, if I have the money and my parents' consent... OH PLEASE, I would have made myself look a zillion times better than how I am now. So some of you may ask, why is it that I have parallel eyelids. I've mentioned this before, but since some of you are too lazy to find out the truth - Fyi, I am born with double eyelids to begin with, I just wanted to have parallel instead of tapered eyelids. And in case you're really sensitive about it, I'm not saying tapered's not nice... It's just personal preference. In case you don't know what I'm talking about...
So yeah, I tried using eyelid tapes for about 6 months in 2011, and miraculously, have permanent parallel lids since then. I think I'm really lucky. Why do I say so? Cos it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Are you insecure about your looks?
Yes I am, to a certain extent. I believe you would too, if you have a hundred people reminding you about your flaws every single day. But the thing is, I love myself. So I've accepted that's it's fine not to be perfect.
Do you think you're attention seeking?
Most ridiculous question ever. My question to you is, are you not? This is probably my millionth time saying this, but I think everyone seeks for attention. The only thing that differentiates each of us would be the miles we would travel for it. From a level of - I want attention to Kim Kardashian, it's just a matter of fact how much you want it. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with it unless you're doing something despicable, and harming someone to your own benefits. Besides, no matter how much I love it - It may sound ironic, but I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when it's for something I worked hard to gain. If you know me well enough, I'm not the kind who would go nude just to get myself to where I want. (Just an example)
How do you deal with your haters?
I've been receiving nasty comments since the day I had a blog, in 2007. I've seen the worst, and it came to a point where it amuses me, because I actually get to find out things I didn't know about myself. I used to care so much, I would cry myself to bed on most nights and I even had issues stepping out of my house at a period of time. However, it took me years to realise how stupid it is to reciprocate to what people who don't me have to say, especially stories/rumours they fabricate. I'm fine with constructive criticisms because I've learnt to take it the positive way - Helping me to improve and get better. Of course it still pisses me off at times when I see untrue stuff about me circulated around by my haters, and I'd either ignore it (if it's nothing too serious) or address it, in other words, stand up for myself (if I find a need to.) And when I ignore it, I don't look at it in a way where I'm a coward or I admit to it - I just find it a waste of time to acknowledge the existence of these people, when most of them are just dying to get my response from their juvenile remarks. Yet when I retaliate, (which I rarely do these days) I only do so when something's getting out of hand. Like if it's tarnishing my reputation or sort. After all, I'm a girl. And I wouldn't "just ignore it" if it affects my name. If I don't stand up for myself, who would? Then again, I don't think that means I care about my haters - I just care about myself enough to want to shut your mouth. Besides, I can stop 1, 2 or 3 people from talking about me, but how many times can I do so? Fact is, you can't please everyone. So it's either you focus on what you have, or waste your life by dwelling on what you don't. And for those friends who decided to leave and hate me for what others have to say? Here's a big... THANK YOU. Haha, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realised who my real friends were.
Do you think you deserve what you have now?
Honestly, I've always felt that I don't in a way, cos of how affected I used to be about what people have to say - "There are better looking people out there," "You are not good enough!" etc. However, I've came to a realisation that it's impossible to be the best. Cos there will always be someone better, no matter how good you think you are. And as long as I think I've done my best, I don't see why I don't deserve to be where I am today. I've worked so hard for the things I have, and it's not like everything I have is an overnight success. So too bad if you beg to differ and think that a) I'm only here due to my looks, which I think is completely senseless, cos if it was just about my looks, I wouldn't have been around after so long - Taking into consideration, the ever-rising number of good-looking people there are today. b) it's bcos of what I write, cos I definitely won't claim to be the best writer. Somehow it's still a mystery to me why people still read my blog until today. c) and it's probably cos you don't know me well enough. I definitely agree that someone out there deserves this so much more than I do, but I guess it's true that life's unfair, and I'm sorry I have no control over it.
Fan mails, personal questions, or need an advice?
Contact me at asknaomineo@gmail.com
|