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Sticks N Stones.
Thursday, December 29, 2011 | 9:15 PM | 0 comments
Just another jerk, just another lie, just another guy I thought I could trust, just another time I thought forever could last.
Have you ever felt like you're really on the verge on crying, you feel so empty in the stomach, a little chill surrounds you with the goosebumps, you bite onto your lips, you try not to speak because you know another word will cause those tears to start forming within the white corners of your eyes...
And you're like, "Please, not now. Don't cry now. Keep the smile. Don't think about it. Some people are not worth it." But you just couldn't help it but to let those tears glide down the cheeks of your face. It hurts. You need a hug. I feel you.
I don't understand how can some people claim that they "love" you for a day, and then ignore you for hours the following day. How is it possible?! I mean I'm not sure if it is, but to me... Ignoring is sucha torture, I can't even stay mad at someone I LOVE for more than half an hour. And some people can possibly just disappear for hours and hours and hours.....
Hanging there in agony. Especially when it comes to bedtime, the pain starts to grow from within, like a million times deeper. All the questions starts to pop up and you have no idea how to give an explanation to any. There's nothing you can do except drowning yourself in the saddest songs that relates to your situation, then allow those negative thoughts to invade your brain.... *BAM* You start crying again. You don't wanna think about it, you tried avoiding it the entire day, but it just won't leave your mind at ease, it just creeps in naturally. And the worst thing is falling asleep half way while crying, then waking up the next morning having to go thru the same phase again.
Losing you wasn't part of my plan, my perfect story was suppose to have a happy ending.
Seriously, that's how painful being ignored is. It's not that bad knowing that someone is busy, sleeping or maybe just didn't had the time to give their phone a check. At least that's just frustrating, not in fact hurting. But if you know that they actually used their phone, like you catch them tweeting or updating their facebook statuses, whatsoever... You know you're no longer that strong enough to say "Never mind, I'm okay."
Is ___ texting someone else? Is ___ mad with me? Is ___ having a really fun conversation with his/her new company? Is ___ gonna ignore me for good? Am I gonna be forgotten soon? Am I being replaced? You just uncontrollably fill your mind with every pessimistic thought you could think of, booom boooooom boooooomz, perpetually into your mind like a machine gun.
Why do you have to do this to me? I find myself really foolish but I just can't help it, I can't help it not to think about you, think about what's wrong, think about why the heck you're not speaking to me, why the fuck we're like strangers all of a sudden. What are words if you really don't mean them? "Love" without actions is just complete bullshit. Don't tell someone how much you love them, don't promise them you will never leave them, don't swear and cross your heart you will never hurt them... If you know you will eventually.
They say actions speaks louder than words, but sometimes just words alone kills us all. Thanks for faking it all, thanks for pretending all these shit, thanks for making me believe all your so called promises that turned out to be lies, thanks for bringing me where I am now, realizing that it's really tough to trust someone again, thanks for all the hurt, and thanks for fucking up my life.
If you don't want me now, I won't want you later.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Sorry for the supa long rant/nonsense. So this is me when I'm feeling supa emotional. Haven't been posting such stuff for quite some time. But whatever. The post above is sorta like a combination of all my tweets. Yea, sometimes I'm not just quoting. I'm really feeling it or I really felt it. Don't worry, I'm fine after pouring it all out on this space.
No pictures spam today! Didn't take any pictures... Went to Ikea to get some new furnitures for my two rooms, gonna do a makeover to it! Hehe. will take pictures of them once I'm done! Till then. I love you all. x
Labels: Dear Diary, Rants
Sticks N Stones.
Thursday, December 29, 2011 | 9:15 PM | 0comments
Just another jerk, just another lie, just another guy I thought I could trust, just another time I thought forever could last.
Have you ever felt like you're really on the verge on crying, you feel so empty in the stomach, a little chill surrounds you with the goosebumps, you bite onto your lips, you try not to speak because you know another word will cause those tears to start forming within the white corners of your eyes...
And you're like, "Please, not now. Don't cry now. Keep the smile. Don't think about it. Some people are not worth it." But you just couldn't help it but to let those tears glide down the cheeks of your face. It hurts. You need a hug. I feel you.
I don't understand how can some people claim that they "love" you for a day, and then ignore you for hours the following day. How is it possible?! I mean I'm not sure if it is, but to me... Ignoring is sucha torture, I can't even stay mad at someone I LOVE for more than half an hour. And some people can possibly just disappear for hours and hours and hours.....
Hanging there in agony. Especially when it comes to bedtime, the pain starts to grow from within, like a million times deeper. All the questions starts to pop up and you have no idea how to give an explanation to any. There's nothing you can do except drowning yourself in the saddest songs that relates to your situation, then allow those negative thoughts to invade your brain.... *BAM* You start crying again. You don't wanna think about it, you tried avoiding it the entire day, but it just won't leave your mind at ease, it just creeps in naturally. And the worst thing is falling asleep half way while crying, then waking up the next morning having to go thru the same phase again.
Losing you wasn't part of my plan, my perfect story was suppose to have a happy ending.
Seriously, that's how painful being ignored is. It's not that bad knowing that someone is busy, sleeping or maybe just didn't had the time to give their phone a check. At least that's just frustrating, not in fact hurting. But if you know that they actually used their phone, like you catch them tweeting or updating their facebook statuses, whatsoever... You know you're no longer that strong enough to say "Never mind, I'm okay."
Is ___ texting someone else? Is ___ mad with me? Is ___ having a really fun conversation with his/her new company? Is ___ gonna ignore me for good? Am I gonna be forgotten soon? Am I being replaced? You just uncontrollably fill your mind with every pessimistic thought you could think of, booom boooooom boooooomz, perpetually into your mind like a machine gun.
Why do you have to do this to me? I find myself really foolish but I just can't help it, I can't help it not to think about you, think about what's wrong, think about why the heck you're not speaking to me, why the fuck we're like strangers all of a sudden. What are words if you really don't mean them? "Love" without actions is just complete bullshit. Don't tell someone how much you love them, don't promise them you will never leave them, don't swear and cross your heart you will never hurt them... If you know you will eventually.
They say actions speaks louder than words, but sometimes just words alone kills us all. Thanks for faking it all, thanks for pretending all these shit, thanks for making me believe all your so called promises that turned out to be lies, thanks for bringing me where I am now, realizing that it's really tough to trust someone again, thanks for all the hurt, and thanks for fucking up my life.
If you don't want me now, I won't want you later.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Sorry for the supa long rant/nonsense. So this is me when I'm feeling supa emotional. Haven't been posting such stuff for quite some time. But whatever. The post above is sorta like a combination of all my tweets. Yea, sometimes I'm not just quoting. I'm really feeling it or I really felt it. Don't worry, I'm fine after pouring it all out on this space.
No pictures spam today! Didn't take any pictures... Went to Ikea to get some new furnitures for my two rooms, gonna do a makeover to it! Hehe. will take pictures of them once I'm done! Till then. I love you all. x
Labels: Dear Diary, Rants
ABOUT ME
Hey there! I share about anything and everything here. You can choose to leave, but I think you should get to know me a little more before you pass your judgement. Check out my FAQ section if it helps.
Who are you?
I'm Naomi, better known as Naomi Neo, and I'm born on the 25th of January 1996. I don't have any siblings, but I'm grateful to have the best parents in the world, who love me unconditionally, and a best friend Trixy who's been there for me for the past 5 years. Currently titled as the youngest "Celebrity Blogger" under my management, Gushcloud - With approximately 124k likes & followers on my Facebook profile and page, 80k followers on twitter and 116k on Instagram currently.
What are you known for?
Honestly, I've no idea what am I known for in majority's eyes, but here's what I presume and hope to be recognised for - I've been writing on all my social platforms since 2009, and got kind of known from writing my thoughts and views on Facebook. My first blog post that went viral was an entry dedicated to my good friend back then, titled "Mothers," in late 2010. Noticing the positive results, I decided to take blogging a little more seriously in 2011. Since then, I've been told that my posts were relatable and inspiring to many, which hence, got me to where I am today.
How well to do is your family? You seem rather spoilt.
I think I'm just average and if you think I'm wealthy rich and spoilt, you're so wrong. I mean yes, my parents do pamper me cos I'm the only child, but I've never taken their money since 2013. And I pay for all my clothes, accessories, make up and 90% of my daily necessities from the money I earn.
What are your stats?
I'm a UK 4 or 6, I've been stuck between 38kg - 40kg. Since I've never really talked about my height, you can deduce I'm exceptionally short and I'm not proud of it - So if you know it, good for you. If you don't, too bad I'm not revealing it. :p
Are you single?
Yes I am. My last relationship was in 2013, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
Do you photoshop your pictures?
No, I don't. Cos I honestly have no idea how to use that crazily complexed software. Ok, it's not very complicated I suppose. I'm just god damn lazy. I only use it to design my texts etc. However, I've been using PicMonkey to edit my pictures. Yeah I know, the main question's still back to whether I "beautify" myself or not. Er, I've no idea what's up with people constantly harping on this issue. The last time I claimed that I don't, was probably in 2012 (which I really didn't back then) But along the way, I figured it was necessary to "upgrade" myself and learn how to. If I can't do plastic surgery, at least make my pictures look chio what. If you know how to, question is, WHY NOT? And, don't you guys wanna see nice pictures too?!?! However I'd like to emphasise that - I do not beautify myself in all my pictures. I only do so when I feel the need to. And 3/4 of the time, I only make adjustments to my gigantic, elephant legs WHICH I admit, I'm very insecure about. So don't tell me my legs are damn nice la, cos some pictures are deceiving. Anyway, I've tons of videos everywhere... Judge for yourself?
Did you have any plastic surgery done?
No I didn't. Firstly, I could not afford to. Secondly, even if I do have the money, my parents are definitely not open to the idea. Thirdly, if I have the money and my parents' consent... OH PLEASE, I would have made myself look a zillion times better than how I am now. So some of you may ask, why is it that I have parallel eyelids. I've mentioned this before, but since some of you are too lazy to find out the truth - Fyi, I am born with double eyelids to begin with, I just wanted to have parallel instead of tapered eyelids. And in case you're really sensitive about it, I'm not saying tapered's not nice... It's just personal preference. In case you don't know what I'm talking about...
So yeah, I tried using eyelid tapes for about 6 months in 2011, and miraculously, have permanent parallel lids since then. I think I'm really lucky. Why do I say so? Cos it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Are you insecure about your looks?
Yes I am, to a certain extent. I believe you would too, if you have a hundred people reminding you about your flaws every single day. But the thing is, I love myself. So I've accepted that's it's fine not to be perfect.
Do you think you're attention seeking?
Most ridiculous question ever. My question to you is, are you not? This is probably my millionth time saying this, but I think everyone seeks for attention. The only thing that differentiates each of us would be the miles we would travel for it. From a level of - I want attention to Kim Kardashian, it's just a matter of fact how much you want it. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with it unless you're doing something despicable, and harming someone to your own benefits. Besides, no matter how much I love it - It may sound ironic, but I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when it's for something I worked hard to gain. If you know me well enough, I'm not the kind who would go nude just to get myself to where I want. (Just an example)
How do you deal with your haters?
I've been receiving nasty comments since the day I had a blog, in 2007. I've seen the worst, and it came to a point where it amuses me, because I actually get to find out things I didn't know about myself. I used to care so much, I would cry myself to bed on most nights and I even had issues stepping out of my house at a period of time. However, it took me years to realise how stupid it is to reciprocate to what people who don't me have to say, especially stories/rumours they fabricate. I'm fine with constructive criticisms because I've learnt to take it the positive way - Helping me to improve and get better. Of course it still pisses me off at times when I see untrue stuff about me circulated around by my haters, and I'd either ignore it (if it's nothing too serious) or address it, in other words, stand up for myself (if I find a need to.) And when I ignore it, I don't look at it in a way where I'm a coward or I admit to it - I just find it a waste of time to acknowledge the existence of these people, when most of them are just dying to get my response from their juvenile remarks. Yet when I retaliate, (which I rarely do these days) I only do so when something's getting out of hand. Like if it's tarnishing my reputation or sort. After all, I'm a girl. And I wouldn't "just ignore it" if it affects my name. If I don't stand up for myself, who would? Then again, I don't think that means I care about my haters - I just care about myself enough to want to shut your mouth. Besides, I can stop 1, 2 or 3 people from talking about me, but how many times can I do so? Fact is, you can't please everyone. So it's either you focus on what you have, or waste your life by dwelling on what you don't. And for those friends who decided to leave and hate me for what others have to say? Here's a big... THANK YOU. Haha, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realised who my real friends were.
Do you think you deserve what you have now?
Honestly, I've always felt that I don't in a way, cos of how affected I used to be about what people have to say - "There are better looking people out there," "You are not good enough!" etc. However, I've came to a realisation that it's impossible to be the best. Cos there will always be someone better, no matter how good you think you are. And as long as I think I've done my best, I don't see why I don't deserve to be where I am today. I've worked so hard for the things I have, and it's not like everything I have is an overnight success. So too bad if you beg to differ and think that a) I'm only here due to my looks, which I think is completely senseless, cos if it was just about my looks, I wouldn't have been around after so long - Taking into consideration, the ever-rising number of good-looking people there are today. b) it's bcos of what I write, cos I definitely won't claim to be the best writer. Somehow it's still a mystery to me why people still read my blog until today. c) and it's probably cos you don't know me well enough. I definitely agree that someone out there deserves this so much more than I do, but I guess it's true that life's unfair, and I'm sorry I have no control over it.
Fan mails, personal questions, or need an advice?
Contact me at asknaomineo@gmail.com
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