Tuesday, April 22, 2014 | 6:07 PM | 7 comments
I'm so burnt out, I can't breathe, I feel suffocated.
I don't mean to make this page a place where people read, and feel bad or worse than they already are, but sometimes it's so hard to find someone to talk to. In fact, the challenge is finding someone who would be able to understand you.
Then again, I hate bothering people with my problems. So I guess here's where I feel most comfortable for pouring my tale of woe.
I'm not sure if anyone could empathise with me on this, but I feel that as I grow older, there are so many more things that I've to take responsibility of, and there's no time in the world to let your emotions come in the way.
Personal feelings have to be one of the last few things I should take into consideration in any case. Whenever I feel hurt, mad, or tired, I've to brush those feelings aside and get myself together... I've been avoiding all these feelings as much as I could, but here comes the day where I feel like I don't have any vacant spaces left in me to bottle these emotions up anymore.
I love my life, I feel contented. I don't feel suicidal. Not this time at least... I'm just really worn out.
School has been giving me a really hard time, I know I'm not the only one facing this problem, but just saying, in case any of you (god knows if anyone still bothers reading this) wanted an explanation for the lack of updates.
Besides school, I wouldn't say that everything's running smoothly, cos it isn't.
How many times should one forgive before they know it's enough? How long should one put up with another before they know it's time to give up and let go? How do you know if someone's worth it, cos isn't loving someone all about giving and not expecting anything in return?
It's such an effortless thing to do, whenever we console the people around us and tell them it's time they should move on and put the past behind. Yet it's funny how it's one of the toughest things to deliver, despite it being an overused piece of advice.
Why do people say, "If you love something, let it go." If you've really loved someone, you should know that you'll never wanna let them go no matter how hard times are. You'd fight to hold on, because you know it's gonna hurt you more than trying to stay on. Even if it's foolish.
Am I wrong to say this? I don't know.
These troubles won't stop piling, but at least you've a choice to embrace them or dwell on them... Have I been living up to my won words, or have I just been living in denial?