The fact about you. You're a cock-headed moron, you're annoying, childish, gay and insensible. I can't believe we've stayed together for more than half a year now. It's kind of an embarrassment just having the thought of it, sweep across my mind.
Above it all, you suck at trying to understand me, you're always hoping to help but gets it all screwed up in the end. And lastly, I guess shall award you the champion for being the "24/7, 365 Most Sensitive Freak."
But... You know, I wished I hadn't gotten so worked up, because it actually shows how much I care. I wanted to be cool with it and go like "Yea, whatever I don't really give a damn." However, before I knew it I was already blabbering and showing all signs that I do, indeed bother.
Unlike any other ordinary day, I woke up feeling really empty today. You've always been there for me, always. No matter how much I've pushed you away, no matter how nasty and uncouth I was, you've never left me.
Sometimes you make me happy, sometimes you make me sad. Some days you make me angry, next moment you make me love you so bad. You're someone who I hate, yet love so much at the same time. It's confusing whether I want or need you in my life at times.
After falling deep and hard once, 4 years ago... I've never dared to tear those walls down for someone new again. Call me a pussy, but sometimes it just takes that one person to hurt you so bad and there goes all your faith towards a good relationship.
But you've changed me.
I've known you for 2 years... That's not exactly a really long period of time, if you were to compare it to the ratio of my age. We definitely had way more downs than ups, but it's funny how the bad memories are the ones that confuse me.
Some say that bad experiences are just part and parcel of a relationship, and going through these obstacles together will probably help to strengthen the relationship gradually... However, have you realized that these encounters are also the reasons behind our agonising pain?
If I actually decide to write a book about the both of us, it'll definitely be the most heart-rending story ever. Maybe not.
Bitter-sweet memories; they are the ones that kill you after a breakup, not exactly the person. Without those memories, breakups will probably be a less painful experience. It's because of all the recollections that actually evoke the feelings you once had or still have, which also contributes to the dilemma of "Should I move on, or should I not?"
You know how they say you can only fall in love once in your entire life? I really wonder if the one I had 4 years ago or now is the right one... Or have I not met the right one yet? Too young to be in love? Yes, that's what most of them would say, but how true can that be?
I mean, there will be a point of time where you'd meet your soul mate despite your age right? Who said that you've to be at least "this" age to be eligible to be in love? When you love, you love. It's only when you fall in love, where you know how true it can be.
I'm not too certain if this is the guy that I wanna stay with for the rest of my life, I'm not too sure if he's the right one for me, but all I know now is that it really tears me apart to realize how I've to start finding someone new over again if this was just a beautiful mistake.
I don't want to.
I've been trying and searching for so long, to find the right one over 2 years... I fell uncountable times in between and I know how it feels to hurt that bad... I didn't want to feel how I felt again.
I've stopped searching and that's when you walked in.
For the first time in my life, after 7 torturous months for you, I thought I could finally give it a try again. I thought it's time I gave you and myself a chance and then god has to put us through so many tests. And now? I'm back alone again.
I've been feeling lonely as fuck for almost half of my sec school life. It was you who made me feel belonged, it was you who made me feel like I had someone to rely and fall back on even if the whole world decides to turn their backs against me, it was you who made me realize that maybe not all guys are douche bags and good guys actually exist.
But it's all different now. All we needed was that split second to cause a huge difference to our lives, to make us realize that sometimes things are just not meant to be.
No more morning texts, no more wordy goodnight texts, no more long phone calls, no more debates on who should hang up the phone first, no more fights on who loves the other party more.
I don't want to start all over again. I hate the process of learning to trust someone new, I hate how every time you think you know someone, they surprise you. And no I'm not going to allow myself to go through that same old shit once more.
Got slapped in the face by reality; It took me this blow for me to come to my senses on how much I actually want you in my life.
I have completely no idea how I'm gonna persuade you into returning if your intention was to leave from the start, but I'll try.
I know how people will come in and out of your life; some choose to leave and some choose to stay. But if I was given the chance to choose one person to remain in my life, that'd be you.
I don't know what's the point of writing all these here, but I know I've hardly talked about my love life publicly before, so hopefully this will let you know that I'm really sincere when I say that you play an important role in my life. Every single word I've said here is from the bottom of my heart.
This may be a post that I'd look back on in a few years time and come to a realization that I'm just lame and naive, but I'm pretty sure that's how I feel at this moment, right now.
I know how everyone will start questioning and like I've always mentioned, most people are just curious, they don't actually bother as much as they claim to care, but I couldn't give two hoots about it. Judge for all you want, but this is my life and I don't need anyone to have a say in what I wish to do about it.
Everyone's gonna tell the both of us what's right and what's wrong. Everyone's gonna tell us that we should move on and start afresh again. Everyone's gonna tell us that we're still young and we shouldn't just give up this easily.
But I'm telling you that I'd be waiting and I'm really certain of what I want even if everyone begs to differ and I mean what I've said.
Don't wait till it's all gone before you snap out of it and realize it's too late to salvage anything. Yes, people will fight for you, but they won't fight forever if you keep shutting them out. Sometimes you just have to learn to put down your pride and ego for someone you love more than yourself.
The fact about you. You're a cock-headed moron, you're annoying, childish, gay and insensible. I can't believe we've stayed together for more than half a year now. It's kind of an embarrassment just having the thought of it, sweep across my mind.
Above it all, you suck at trying to understand me, you're always hoping to help but gets it all screwed up in the end. And lastly, I guess shall award you the champion for being the "24/7, 365 Most Sensitive Freak."
But... You know, I wished I hadn't gotten so worked up, because it actually shows how much I care. I wanted to be cool with it and go like "Yea, whatever I don't really give a damn." However, before I knew it I was already blabbering and showing all signs that I do, indeed bother.
Unlike any other ordinary day, I woke up feeling really empty today. You've always been there for me, always. No matter how much I've pushed you away, no matter how nasty and uncouth I was, you've never left me.
Sometimes you make me happy, sometimes you make me sad. Some days you make me angry, next moment you make me love you so bad. You're someone who I hate, yet love so much at the same time. It's confusing whether I want or need you in my life at times.
After falling deep and hard once, 4 years ago... I've never dared to tear those walls down for someone new again. Call me a pussy, but sometimes it just takes that one person to hurt you so bad and there goes all your faith towards a good relationship.
But you've changed me.
I've known you for 2 years... That's not exactly a really long period of time, if you were to compare it to the ratio of my age. We definitely had way more downs than ups, but it's funny how the bad memories are the ones that confuse me.
Some say that bad experiences are just part and parcel of a relationship, and going through these obstacles together will probably help to strengthen the relationship gradually... However, have you realized that these encounters are also the reasons behind our agonising pain?
If I actually decide to write a book about the both of us, it'll definitely be the most heart-rending story ever. Maybe not.
Bitter-sweet memories; they are the ones that kill you after a breakup, not exactly the person. Without those memories, breakups will probably be a less painful experience. It's because of all the recollections that actually evoke the feelings you once had or still have, which also contributes to the dilemma of "Should I move on, or should I not?"
You know how they say you can only fall in love once in your entire life? I really wonder if the one I had 4 years ago or now is the right one... Or have I not met the right one yet? Too young to be in love? Yes, that's what most of them would say, but how true can that be?
I mean, there will be a point of time where you'd meet your soul mate despite your age right? Who said that you've to be at least "this" age to be eligible to be in love? When you love, you love. It's only when you fall in love, where you know how true it can be.
I'm not too certain if this is the guy that I wanna stay with for the rest of my life, I'm not too sure if he's the right one for me, but all I know now is that it really tears me apart to realize how I've to start finding someone new over again if this was just a beautiful mistake.
I don't want to.
I've been trying and searching for so long, to find the right one over 2 years... I fell uncountable times in between and I know how it feels to hurt that bad... I didn't want to feel how I felt again.
I've stopped searching and that's when you walked in.
For the first time in my life, after 7 torturous months for you, I thought I could finally give it a try again. I thought it's time I gave you and myself a chance and then god has to put us through so many tests. And now? I'm back alone again.
I've been feeling lonely as fuck for almost half of my sec school life. It was you who made me feel belonged, it was you who made me feel like I had someone to rely and fall back on even if the whole world decides to turn their backs against me, it was you who made me realize that maybe not all guys are douche bags and good guys actually exist.
But it's all different now. All we needed was that split second to cause a huge difference to our lives, to make us realize that sometimes things are just not meant to be.
No more morning texts, no more wordy goodnight texts, no more long phone calls, no more debates on who should hang up the phone first, no more fights on who loves the other party more.
I don't want to start all over again. I hate the process of learning to trust someone new, I hate how every time you think you know someone, they surprise you. And no I'm not going to allow myself to go through that same old shit once more.
Got slapped in the face by reality; It took me this blow for me to come to my senses on how much I actually want you in my life.
I have completely no idea how I'm gonna persuade you into returning if your intention was to leave from the start, but I'll try.
I know how people will come in and out of your life; some choose to leave and some choose to stay. But if I was given the chance to choose one person to remain in my life, that'd be you.
I don't know what's the point of writing all these here, but I know I've hardly talked about my love life publicly before, so hopefully this will let you know that I'm really sincere when I say that you play an important role in my life. Every single word I've said here is from the bottom of my heart.
This may be a post that I'd look back on in a few years time and come to a realization that I'm just lame and naive, but I'm pretty sure that's how I feel at this moment, right now.
I know how everyone will start questioning and like I've always mentioned, most people are just curious, they don't actually bother as much as they claim to care, but I couldn't give two hoots about it. Judge for all you want, but this is my life and I don't need anyone to have a say in what I wish to do about it.
Everyone's gonna tell the both of us what's right and what's wrong. Everyone's gonna tell us that we should move on and start afresh again. Everyone's gonna tell us that we're still young and we shouldn't just give up this easily.
But I'm telling you that I'd be waiting and I'm really certain of what I want even if everyone begs to differ and I mean what I've said.
Don't wait till it's all gone before you snap out of it and realize it's too late to salvage anything. Yes, people will fight for you, but they won't fight forever if you keep shutting them out. Sometimes you just have to learn to put down your pride and ego for someone you love more than yourself.
Cherish.
ABOUT ME
Hey there! I share about anything and everything here. You can choose to leave, but I think you should get to know me a little more before you pass your judgement. Check out my FAQ section if it helps.
Who are you?
I'm Naomi, better known as Naomi Neo, and I'm born on the 25th of January 1996. I don't have any siblings, but I'm grateful to have the best parents in the world, who love me unconditionally, and a best friend Trixy who's been there for me for the past 5 years. Currently titled as the youngest "Celebrity Blogger" under my management, Gushcloud - With approximately 124k likes & followers on my Facebook profile and page, 80k followers on twitter and 116k on Instagram currently.
What are you known for?
Honestly, I've no idea what am I known for in majority's eyes, but here's what I presume and hope to be recognised for - I've been writing on all my social platforms since 2009, and got kind of known from writing my thoughts and views on Facebook. My first blog post that went viral was an entry dedicated to my good friend back then, titled "Mothers," in late 2010. Noticing the positive results, I decided to take blogging a little more seriously in 2011. Since then, I've been told that my posts were relatable and inspiring to many, which hence, got me to where I am today.
How well to do is your family? You seem rather spoilt.
I think I'm just average and if you think I'm wealthy rich and spoilt, you're so wrong. I mean yes, my parents do pamper me cos I'm the only child, but I've never taken their money since 2013. And I pay for all my clothes, accessories, make up and 90% of my daily necessities from the money I earn.
What are your stats?
I'm a UK 4 or 6, I've been stuck between 38kg - 40kg. Since I've never really talked about my height, you can deduce I'm exceptionally short and I'm not proud of it - So if you know it, good for you. If you don't, too bad I'm not revealing it. :p
Are you single?
Yes I am. My last relationship was in 2013, and I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.
Do you photoshop your pictures?
No, I don't. Cos I honestly have no idea how to use that crazily complexed software. Ok, it's not very complicated I suppose. I'm just god damn lazy. I only use it to design my texts etc. However, I've been using PicMonkey to edit my pictures. Yeah I know, the main question's still back to whether I "beautify" myself or not. Er, I've no idea what's up with people constantly harping on this issue. The last time I claimed that I don't, was probably in 2012 (which I really didn't back then) But along the way, I figured it was necessary to "upgrade" myself and learn how to. If I can't do plastic surgery, at least make my pictures look chio what. If you know how to, question is, WHY NOT? And, don't you guys wanna see nice pictures too?!?! However I'd like to emphasise that - I do not beautify myself in all my pictures. I only do so when I feel the need to. And 3/4 of the time, I only make adjustments to my gigantic, elephant legs WHICH I admit, I'm very insecure about. So don't tell me my legs are damn nice la, cos some pictures are deceiving. Anyway, I've tons of videos everywhere... Judge for yourself?
Did you have any plastic surgery done?
No I didn't. Firstly, I could not afford to. Secondly, even if I do have the money, my parents are definitely not open to the idea. Thirdly, if I have the money and my parents' consent... OH PLEASE, I would have made myself look a zillion times better than how I am now. So some of you may ask, why is it that I have parallel eyelids. I've mentioned this before, but since some of you are too lazy to find out the truth - Fyi, I am born with double eyelids to begin with, I just wanted to have parallel instead of tapered eyelids. And in case you're really sensitive about it, I'm not saying tapered's not nice... It's just personal preference. In case you don't know what I'm talking about...
So yeah, I tried using eyelid tapes for about 6 months in 2011, and miraculously, have permanent parallel lids since then. I think I'm really lucky. Why do I say so? Cos it doesn't work for everyone.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Don't you think it's better to be natural?
Unfortunately, not everyone's blessed with natural beauty. And even though I've never claimed to be ugly, I've never claimed to be pretty by nature either. I won't deny I've been rather extravagant when it comes to the amount of money I spend on things to beautify my physical appearance, cos sadly, it is important to look good in this society today. You can read more on my views about physical appearance (here). And I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look good or better. Everybody wants to. If you tell me you value natural beauty, I'm cool with it, but if you tell me about your self-righteous logic on how it's wrong to enhance your appearance... Fuck you, go marry a plant since you like it natural.
Are you insecure about your looks?
Yes I am, to a certain extent. I believe you would too, if you have a hundred people reminding you about your flaws every single day. But the thing is, I love myself. So I've accepted that's it's fine not to be perfect.
Do you think you're attention seeking?
Most ridiculous question ever. My question to you is, are you not? This is probably my millionth time saying this, but I think everyone seeks for attention. The only thing that differentiates each of us would be the miles we would travel for it. From a level of - I want attention to Kim Kardashian, it's just a matter of fact how much you want it. And I see absolutely nothing wrong with it unless you're doing something despicable, and harming someone to your own benefits. Besides, no matter how much I love it - It may sound ironic, but I hate unnecessary attention. I only like it when it's for something I worked hard to gain. If you know me well enough, I'm not the kind who would go nude just to get myself to where I want. (Just an example)
How do you deal with your haters?
I've been receiving nasty comments since the day I had a blog, in 2007. I've seen the worst, and it came to a point where it amuses me, because I actually get to find out things I didn't know about myself. I used to care so much, I would cry myself to bed on most nights and I even had issues stepping out of my house at a period of time. However, it took me years to realise how stupid it is to reciprocate to what people who don't me have to say, especially stories/rumours they fabricate. I'm fine with constructive criticisms because I've learnt to take it the positive way - Helping me to improve and get better. Of course it still pisses me off at times when I see untrue stuff about me circulated around by my haters, and I'd either ignore it (if it's nothing too serious) or address it, in other words, stand up for myself (if I find a need to.) And when I ignore it, I don't look at it in a way where I'm a coward or I admit to it - I just find it a waste of time to acknowledge the existence of these people, when most of them are just dying to get my response from their juvenile remarks. Yet when I retaliate, (which I rarely do these days) I only do so when something's getting out of hand. Like if it's tarnishing my reputation or sort. After all, I'm a girl. And I wouldn't "just ignore it" if it affects my name. If I don't stand up for myself, who would? Then again, I don't think that means I care about my haters - I just care about myself enough to want to shut your mouth. Besides, I can stop 1, 2 or 3 people from talking about me, but how many times can I do so? Fact is, you can't please everyone. So it's either you focus on what you have, or waste your life by dwelling on what you don't. And for those friends who decided to leave and hate me for what others have to say? Here's a big... THANK YOU. Haha, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realised who my real friends were.
Do you think you deserve what you have now?
Honestly, I've always felt that I don't in a way, cos of how affected I used to be about what people have to say - "There are better looking people out there," "You are not good enough!" etc. However, I've came to a realisation that it's impossible to be the best. Cos there will always be someone better, no matter how good you think you are. And as long as I think I've done my best, I don't see why I don't deserve to be where I am today. I've worked so hard for the things I have, and it's not like everything I have is an overnight success. So too bad if you beg to differ and think that a) I'm only here due to my looks, which I think is completely senseless, cos if it was just about my looks, I wouldn't have been around after so long - Taking into consideration, the ever-rising number of good-looking people there are today. b) it's bcos of what I write, cos I definitely won't claim to be the best writer. Somehow it's still a mystery to me why people still read my blog until today. c) and it's probably cos you don't know me well enough. I definitely agree that someone out there deserves this so much more than I do, but I guess it's true that life's unfair, and I'm sorry I have no control over it.
Fan mails, personal questions, or need an advice?
Contact me at asknaomineo@gmail.com
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